Religious Dilettantes?

From "The Ancient Cliff Dwellers of Mesa Verde" by Caroline Arnold: "Religion was part of the everyday experience and influenced all aspects of Anasazi life." 

That line struck me as funny.  A religion is a system of beliefs, after all, and should influence all aspects of your life and be a part of your everyday experience. If it doesn't and isn't, it's not really a religion.  Not yours, anyway.   

Religion in this sense is not defined by where or how you worship, by the name you call your god, or even by the label you allow society to put on you.  I know lots of "Christians" who fornicate and see no sin in it. "Catholics" who use birth control despite the Church's prohibition.  "Mormons" who drink coffee or soda pop.   Your true religion is not inside a building or a book or some other person.  If you think it's a sin and you still do it, that is the true hypocrisy.  You will answer for it, to yourself if to no one else.  

You rise in the morning and go about your day. Certain ideals are more important than others.  There are things you feel you must do and things you feel you must not do. That is your true religion, no matter what label you or society puts on you.  And it does influence all aspects of your life and is a part of your everyday experience.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go outside and hug a tree.  

Are Stereotypes really that bad?

Does any rational human being really believe stereotypes?  I know nobody who actually thinks all lesbians hang out at Home Depot or that every black person on the planet loves watermelon.  At least, not that I know of.  I joke about stereotypes because I find the entire thing ridiculous.  I'm mocking the very idea that anyone, anywhere, takes them seriously.  Who watches Mythbusters and really expects Grant to suddenly go all Ninja on Tory?

My favorite example is Speedy Gonzalez.  He steals cheese because he is a MOUSE. His record of petty theft has nothing to do with his being from Mexico.  In fact, if I were a Mexican guy, I'd find Speedy a compliment.  He's a go-to guy with all the senoritas in love with him.  He's clever and resourceful.  How is he a negative?  Why is it bad for them to make Speedy Gonzalez cartoons?

Stereotypes often have a basis in reality, too, like it or not.  Historically, tribal societies from all over the world celebrate music and athletics... and yes, those things do filter down through the generations.  Food stereotypes have historical or cultural roots.  If you don't believe me, look it up.

Yes, a stereotype can be a bad thing.  But a word is not automatically an insult, not even the "N" word.  Look at the big picture before you get upset.  Ask why.  I'm in therapy for my persecution complex and I get this concept.  What's the excuse for society at large?

Don't be an Ashley Carter.

Many years ago, I picked up a couple books at a yard sale.  They were "Taproots of Falconhurst" and "Scandal of Falconhurst" by Ashley Carter.  I eventually read all the Falconhurst books and was confused.  Did Ellen get freed and later murdered by Ransom Lightfoot, or did she die in the slave uprising on Falconhurst?  Why did one book contradict the others?  Just what was going on?  I sorted them out finally, not by the chronology of the story, but by publication dates, and what I discovered was this:  The series had three authors, two of which sometimes worked together.  These two quit, or died, or were abducted by aliens, and Ashley Carter took over.

I can't begin to describe how angry this made me and still makes me.  Not that another author took over, but that he ignored the established reality of that world to suit himself.  Using the works of the first two, I could have made a viable timeline, family tree, and maybe even a map.   For example, the character of Ellen was the young master's (ahem) favorite.  She came to the plantation as a teenager, bore many children, and was killed in a slave uprising.  I don't remember if her dalliance with a fellow slave was included in the Onstott/Horner books, but if it was, she was forgiven.  Ashley Carter, however, decided that Ellen's dalliance resulted in Ellen's being freed and sent away, then murdered.  WHAT?!

I can't imagine doing this to another author, but it seems to be fairly common and even accepted practice.  I argue all the time with my fellow Protoculture Addicts about Jack McKinney's novelizations of Robotech.  I just read a 'prequel' to Jane Eyre that did it - and has gotten good reviews.  There is an official Dracula sequel, written by some kin of Bram Stoker's, that does it.

Now, let me clarify.  I am not talking about works that take a "what if" approach.  I am not talking about alternate realities or reboots.  They don't claim to take place in the same reality as the original and promptly contradict it.    Play in the worlds of others if you like, but respect the creator of that world.  Don't be an Ashley Carter.

I guess I should mention my writing.

I've mentioned in my profile that I write fiction, and it's been suggested to me that I post some of my stuff here.  I don't know that I'd post anything big, but some of my shorter stuff is possible.  I have been known to crank out poetry, usually from the depths of depression, and have written (as mentioned in my profile) a few bits of fan fiction.

As a general rule, I don't care for fan fiction.  I've seen too many pornographic, badly written ones.  By badly written, I refer to both the story and the writing itself.  I don't care for explicit sex - a personal preference, I know - and I'd like all the spelling and punctuation to be correct, and I really do not want characters acting unlike themselves.  I once stumbled across one in which Harry Potter was coupled with Draco Malfoy.  My brain still hurts.  

Most of what I write is ostensibly romance.  I've gotten grief from jerks because many of my characters are Cherokee and I'm not, but I don't see a problem with it. Gene Roddenberry was not an alien, after all, and  I  research like a madwoman.  In fact, my current project is stuck at the moment on a very trivial bit of research, something I could fudge on.  Cindy could quite easily say "I think the place has been abandoned."  It's not even important to the story!  It's a bit of back story for a secondary, maybe even tertiary, character!

Anyway, I've already completed "Ghosts", in which Danny and Megan take their Internet friendship further.  There are literal and figurative ghosts running around.  The current project (Seventh Son) is actually a prequel to "Ghosts".  It's about Danny's mother connecting with her Cherokee roots. In the process, of course, she meets Danny's father.  I've got ideas for more Stillwater Farm stories, too!

I've been told my best work is a piece called "Regrets", which I may post here.  Some of my readers have clamored for me to fill in a twelve year gap between the main story and the epilogue, but I'm stuck.  Olivia won't tell me about those years.  (And if you've read "Ghosts", this is the same Olivia.)  I wrote another I'm hoping to expand into a Stillwater Farm novel, but I am really unhappy with the resolution.

That's what I write, besides this blog.  What I write seriously, anyway.  ;-p

Bazookas and Barbies

If you buy your kids guns, they will be Jack The Ripper.  If you buy your kids fashion dolls, they will be prissy and brainless.  What?!  That's possibly the silliest thing I ever heard of.  A BB Gun or a Barbie is an inanimate object.  It has no power over you or yours.  What has the power over you, particularly as a child, is other people.  I live with a seven year old boy who plays with both weapons and dolls.  He is not growing up to be either Charlie Manson or Liberace.

He knows not to shoot anything with a face and a pulse - unless he is going to eat it, or it is trying to eat him - even with Nerf.  Violence he sees on TV and video games is explained in context.  "Yes, James Bond killed that guy, but that guy was trying to blow up Europe."  "Captain Kirk was bad to want to kill all the Klingons.  I'm glad he figured that out."   

The dolls technically aren't his, they belong to the crazy aunt in the attic.  At least, the evil fashion dolls are.  His plastic people are 'action figures' and therefore either belong in the War Toys discussion or are socially acceptable.  The fashion dolls generally have what he calls "Barbie School".  He is teacher and principal.  Curriculum has covered subjects like Pokemon, volcanoes, video games, dinosaurs...  never fashion!  His class has a variety of skin tones (many of them aren't even human), they all get along, and most of them look like they've been through a wind tunnel.

We teach by example.   I have used Barbies for many years to teach kids of both genders about the things that make us different, and how it ultimately doesn't matter unless you're hurting someone. My Barbies have had adventures that'd curl Mattel's hair!  The hunters and military men in my family have always been very big on the safety issues.  And, no, that doesn't meant put the safety on before handing the gun to Junior.

Inanimate objects do not have that kind of power unless YOU give it that power.  Even the official toy company line has no power once that toy is in your kid's hot little hands.  Hand your little girl a Barbie and she's going to emulate the people around her.  Hand your boy a Nerf Bazooka and he's gonna do what he's been taught is appropriate. Switch the toys and the kids will be fine.

I used to get really mad about "Boy Toys" and "Girl Toys" because I felt that it limited the child's options, but I've come to realize that it is a generalization.  Most boys prefer certain toys, most girls prefer other toys.  This is not meant to be a limitation, no one is going to stop a little boy from buying Barbie.  Except maybe you...

 

Homophobia, Religious Freedom, and Boycotts.

The recent fuss over the Christian stance of Chick-Fil-A's CEO and the proposed boycott has me defending a "homophobe".  The guy is within his rights, and even strikes me as a better Christian than many, but this requires some explaining.  The stance of the Bible (you know, that book the Christians use as an instruction manual) is clear - homosexuality is a sin.  Those of us who approach the Bible from a more intellectual standpoint can fill in the gaps of historical content and cultural bias, but the true Christian runs on faith, not on facts.  It would be hypocritical of him to do other than run his business by his own standards.  He catered an event that made a lot of money for his business - an event that also supports his beliefs.  When asked about it, he gave an honest response.  I do think he is in the wrong to support legislation that infringes on the rights of others, because of this little thing called Separation of Church and State, but I otherwise have his back.  


The gay community is calling for a boycott of his business.  I will not be participating in this, or any, boycott.  Boycotts hurt more people than they help.  Think of all the people employed by this company - how many of them are you willing to put out of work? How quickly will you judge them when they apply for Welfare?  If I boycott every business run by, or employing, people whose private lives I disapprove of, I'd never go anywhere.  The girl who rang me up sleeps around, the boy who bagged my groceries smokes, the manager of the store is a racist...  it could go on forever.  I'm sure someone working for the company that made my truck is a really bad person, but I still want my truck.

We can't just let nature run wild!

I read that quote somewhere and laughed at it so hard I hurt myself.  I think it was a politician who said it, which wouldn't be surprising.  Look at the stuff they are trying to ban or already have banned.

Did you know that many areas ban breast-feeding because someone might see a boob?  I guess because a boob is what they call a "secondary sex characteristic".  So is chest hair (not that you see much of that anymore, but that's another rant)  and beards, which you can legally flaunt.  Some of us find a hairy chest or a beard just as sexy as others find a boob, and I've never heard of those providing nutrition and/or boosting immunity.

The whole gay marriage debate is stupid.  Homosexuality DOES happen in nature.  It is a deviation from the norm, yes, but certainly more natural than living in square boxes. It's against someone's religion?  So are cars.  Which, by the way, are not natural.  Gonna corrupt our youth?  No more than legal and unnatural things like books and schools.  

Then we have a plant that could do wonders for the environment, the economy, and the world in general.  Hemp seeds are nutritious and their oil can be used just like linseed oil.  We can make clothes from hemp.  The use of Hemp Fuel and Hemp Plastics could replace Big Oil.  Petroleum is natural, but refined into a pollutant, by the way.  Rope, canvas, even oil dry can be made from this evil plant.  How many of these things can be done with tobacco or alcohol?  Both of which are legal and one of which does not grow naturally?  


Seriously.....  "We can't just let nature run wild."   

Personal Responsibility

There's an old saying "Bring up your children in the way they should go and when they are grown they will not depart from it".  This is true, to a point.  That point is the crux of today's rant.  Certainly, your child is more likely to hold the same basic values as you.  They will probably agree with your religion, your politics, your opinion of the world around you.  This is why we have to model the life we want our children to lead.

However!  (You knew that was coming, right?)  There comes a time when the children must chose their own path.  We could argue all day about when that is, whether a certain age or a landmark event, but the time does come.

People are not pottery - a flaw in our clay is not permanent.  And our parents are not the only potters turning that wheel.  "It takes a village to raise a child" even in today's Mind-Your-Own-Business world.  Had my parents been the only influence in my life, I'd have never developed many of my interests.  I would not believe that people are inherently good (if a tad selfish).  There were other potters at that wheel.  The flaws any one potter put into my clay was either fixed or worsened by the others.  


By elementary school, we've been taught stealing is wrong.  By Junior High, we know that we're expected to show up for work (and going to school is your job at this point).  By High School , we know what birth control is.  By the time we are drinking age, society has shown us that booze affects our judgement.  Even if our parents are drunken thieves with no job and sixteen children, we know these things.

Bring up your child in the path you'd like him to follow, lead by example, and when he is grown...  Hold him responsible if he does something bad or stupid.  He isn't an urn.  He's a human being, capable of working around the flaws if not of repairing them.

Proud to be an American?

I've often said that being taken for granted is the most annoying compliment possible.  If so, America must be quite flattered and annoyed!  Today being Independence Day, it seems right to get my red-white-and-blue soapbox out.  The USA was meant to be run by us - the people.  Why does it seem that the people are being run roughshod by the privileged few?  Because they are, plain and simple.

Why?  They allow it.  They do not use the power given to them by the government.  They don't protest, they don't vote, they don't care.  Example: The village of Bethel, my hometown, has been invaded by a bug called the Asian Longhorned Beetle.  The ALB burrows into a tree trunk to lay its eggs, and the larvae munch on the inner wood, which can hurt and even kill the tree in question.  Bethel contacted the US government for help, as they should have, and the response was extreme measures.  Every tree found to be infested, and every tree that might conceivably become infested, was to be destroyed.    Bethel is a lovely little town, rural and heavily wooded, and this idea has not gone over well.  The environment (both definitions) of Bethel is dependent upon trees.  The citizens of Bethel and surrounding Tate Township are using their power!  They are writing to everyone they can think of to stop the deforestation of the area (and possibly a nearby State Park), they are proposing other methods, they are calling attention to their cause.  What they are NOT doing is sitting around crying about it and pointing fingers.  They are taking action, and I say good for them.  They are doing what the Founding Fathers wanted done.

Too many Americans will not do this.  They want to have their freedoms and their rights, but they don't want to work for them.  And all they have to do, really, is take an active part.  When I applied for Disability, I had to jump through lots of hoops.  I wrote to many government offices to plead my case.  When it comes time to vote, I intend to remember who helped and who didn't. "But I don't understand politics" you say... find someone you respect, someone who does understand politics, and ask for guidance.  "One vote doesn't matter"? Tell that to the people of  North Carolina - one of their legislators poked the wrong button and now fracking is legal there.  "I wanna vote for a third party candidate, but that's wasting my vote".  Even writing in Alice Cooper is not wasting your vote.  The only wasted vote is the one not cast.  Your vote is your power, given by the Founding Fathers, and if you waste it - shut up.  You've given up your right to complain.

Then there are those who think it's okay to use the word Muslim as a synonym for Terrorist, but they wave the flag that stands for Religious Freedom.  The ones who want to ban Howard Stern but say Freedom of Speech is precious.  If you are a True American, you stand for all those things.  You understand that, even if you can't grasp wanting a bazooka, your neighbor has the right to own one.  

If being an American means watching the people I elect and expecting them to listen when I present intelligent suggestions, then I am proud.  If it means respecting the rights of others in exchange for having those rights myself, I am proud.   Are you a True American?  If so, be proud.  I know I am.

Rainbow Oreo

I saw this and my first thought was "Why pride?"  Why not just follow the advice of Roseanne Barr (She said it about being fat, but the sentiment is the same)  "So you're gay.  It's okay to be gay.  Just be gay and shut up about it."  I really do not understand what all the fuss is about.  I must be some kind of alien or something, because I totally fail to understand why one aspect of your person should be such a big deal.

Well, I went to a comment section on one of the news stories, prepared to say so, and got slapped in the face with the why.  I don't have people telling me that I can't be a lefty because it's against THEIR religion. No one is screaming BOOKWORM at me when I walk down the street with my book.  There's no debate over why I prefer oranges over olives.  

The fact is, that one aspect has become a big deal because of other people - not because of the gays.  If those of us who believe it's wrong would shut the hell up, they would not be all-up-in-your-face. So, to paraphrase Roseanne again "So you're ignorant.  It's okay to be ignorant.  Just be ignorant and shut up about it."

And that cookie looks really yummy, too.

Defining Family

Several years ago, I was introduced to the world of genaeology by a distant cousin and then a co-worker.  I got a computer program for the information and hit on the brilliant idea of giving each of my siblings a copy of the family tree for Christmas!  All I had to do was enter our spouses, children, and grandchildren.  The paper and ink would be expensive, but the sentiment was worth it.  Then I posed myself the question "Who do I include?"

I have seven siblings, two parents, and a total of three step-parents.  The siblings each have at least one spouse and at least one child.  Some of them have ex-stepchildren that they still think of as their own. Feelings were going to be hurt even if  I figured out a  Definition of Family.  What I finally decided was if they had a legal or biological link to us, they were going into the family tree.  What I gave my siblings that Christmas was prefaced by a little speech (or a letter if it was mailed) explaining my Definition of Family for this purpose.  No, some "family members" were not there.  Others, like the the childless second wife of a brother, were at the very least mentioned in notes. 

My Definition has created some funny (both peculiar and ha-ha) branches.  My oldest brother has been married three times.  When he married wife #1, she already had a daughter.  After they divorced, she had another child in her next relationship.  My brother's third wife came with a son, who he legally adopted.  Then they adopted an unplanned baby from Wife #1!  Who needs soap operas?!  

Another brother married a woman with a daughter and had two sons with her.  They divorced, he remarried (this wife came with four kids), and the first wife later had another son.  One of my sisters legally adopted her own grandchild.  This is why I love the NOTES section!  


So, if my math is correct, I have two ex-step-nieces, one ex-step-niece's half brother, seven step-nephews and step-nieces, a biological great-niece who is legally my niece, one who is half brother to an ex-step-niece and two "real" nephews, AND twelve "real" nephew/nieces.  I just call them my minions.

And then there are my grand-minions....   You may feel free to run away screaming.

Do you believe in ghosts?

I was out of reading material, so I hit the local public library.  After debating checking out a biography of Rutherford B. Hayes (to whom I may be distantly related), I found a bunch of "true ghost stories" books and took them all!  Most of the ones I've read so far aren't impressive - lots of weird mists and funny noises - but they have me wanting to share my own ghost experiences.

My mother's brother Art died nearly ten years before I was born, but I knew him.  He was the family ghost.  We heard him all the time, walking down the front hall from the kitchen and then up the stairs.

I had a friend over one day, playing a board game in my room.  We heard someone on the stairs and when she looked, no one was there.  I told her it was just Art, the family ghost.  She mocked me and then flew down the stairs when "someone sat on edge of the bed".

It was common knowledge that I believed in ghosts.  One day at school, a classroom door opened all by itself and someone said "Hey, Jean, your ghost is here."  I glanced over and said "Shut the door, Art."  The door closed right away!

I woke one night to see a non-menacing human figure standing over me.  "Art?"  The figure nodded and I went back to sleep.

Now, I am willing to admit an errant wind may have moved the classroom door and the figure standing over me might have been a dream.  His sitting on the side of the bed may have been her imagination.  But Art's footsteps in the hall and stairs was not the house settling - he had a recognizable tread, just like the rest of the family.

Now for a tale of Art that I personally did not experience.  Once upon a time, the entire family went out for a day trip.  The next day, a neighbor teen confessed (to my brother) having planned to break into our house, but a man glared at him through the window when he tried.  From his description, we knew it was Art.

When Art was a child, his father died.  He told Art to take care of his (Art's) mother and sister, that he was the man of the house now.  My mother and grandmother both died in the late 1990's and I believe Art has moved on.  Taking care of Mom and Marian was his Unfinished Business.  

An open letter to an former friend

(I post this reluctantly, having no desire to play the martyr.  But I've ranted in my head, into the empty house, even on paper, and nothing helps.  Maybe blogging about it will get her out of my head so I can move on.)  

For over twenty years, we were friends.  You claimed to not mind, and even to enjoy, supporting me as I struggled to rise above my programming.  You told me drinking scared you, that many of your kin had problems with it and you didn't want to join that club.  You told me your co-workers were jerks and losers.  For many of those years, people 'knew' we were a couple... a reasonable assumption, all things considered, but you were irate.  I used to tell my friends and family to not even joke about it around you.

Then you tell me one day that you've decided you're a lesbian, that a certain party who boasted about converting straight women was your sweetheart.  You jumped out of the closet feet first, waving the rainbow flag like a madman.  All those years, you had been insulted at the idea of being with me.  All those years, you had insisted you were straight as an arrow.  But when I got upset, it was my homophobia that was the problem.

You visited mutual friends and told them I never let you drink, that I never let you go out with your co-workers, that I was using you financially.  I never left a job, in all those years, without another lined up.  I bought you stuff with my Welfare when I'd been fired.  You told me to get bill money from my sister so you could go to a Star Trek Convention!  But I was freeloading off you?!  You got me a pager so you could keep track of where I was, but I had you on a leash?!

After I figured out our friendship was a lost cause and moved out, you continued to put our mutual friends in the middle.  You basically told at least one of them to choose between me or you. (I see that some of my friends on Facebook are also your friends and think about telling them the things you said about them back then.  But, childish as I am, I'm more mature than that.)  You tried to keep me from your father's funeral, even though your mother wanted me there.

So tell me, how is this my fault?  You lied to me for twenty years about - well, pretty much everything - but it's my fault we aren't friends anymore?  Sometimes I wonder if we were ever friends.  Maybe that was yet another thing you lied about.

Religion and politics

Why is it impolite to discuss religion and politics?  Is it really just to keep Uncle Bob and Aunt Susie from screaming at each other during a birthday party?  That's a really stupid reason to shut down intelligent discourse.  We have so many who simply swallow the Party Position or the Church Tenets without question, without thought.

My father was a Republican and a member of the NRA.  According to him, everything wrong with this country is the fault of the "damn liberal Democrats".  Barack Obama is going to kick down your door at any moment and take your guns.  Personally.  Never mind that the Founding Fathers made sure that no one person or branch of the government has that kind of power.  The fact is, we are at fault.  We need to learn, to think, and to act. Don't freak out because the Senate passed a bill you don't like - that bill still has to get through the House and the President - but do remember who voted for it.  On Election Day.  Don't blame gas prices on one dude, no matter where his office is.  Economics is something few people understand, but I am pretty sure no one is the God of Gas Prices.  (And if you're driving a Hummer towing a speedboat or huge camper, you are part of the problem, so shut up.)   The only wasted vote is the one that isn't cast!

As for religion - pretty much every religion teaches us to respect others.  The debates over gay marriage and abortion are prime examples of swallowing dogma blindly.  Whatever you believe, it isn't automatically applicable to others.  If you are Catholic, that doesn't make Pope Benny the boss of me.  It isn't your place to judge others - if those things are sins, they will eventually answer to God.

A truth pertaining to both subjects - contrary to popular belief, the USA was not founded as a Christian nation.  Don't believe me?  Look it up.

Welcome to my world.

I am one of Those People.  You know, the ones who draw Disability even though you can't see anything wrong with them.  The ones everyone knows are just plain lazy.  The "beer and cigarette" people.    I have a sense of humor about it - thus the name of my blog. 

  

I live with a nephew, his wife, and their son.  I earn my keep mostly through housework and child care.  I don't smoke or drink.  My main addictions are books and Barbies.  If they ever make a Star Trek political party - based on the Prime Directive and "The needs of the many" - I might join it.  I'm an environmentalist, but hardly a fanatic.  If we don't go green, Mother Nature will bite us in the butt and it will be our own fault.