Reaching 50

Well, today's my birthday.  I'm 50.  Lots of jokes about me being old.  Which is funny, for a couple of reasons.  First of all, there's the fact that I believe age is a matter of mind - if you don't mind, it don't matter!  Anyone who knows me will vouch for my decidedly not-middle-age behavior.  Sometimes I get scolded right along with the children.

The other, bigger, point is this:  There was a time that my making it to 30 was questionable.  I'd been hospitalized three times, once for an actual suicide attempt and the others as prevention.  Suicide had been a frequent thought since my late teens.  I'm a Prozac success story - the controversial anti-depressant has literally saved my life.  It wasn't as simple as me popping a pill and everything was all better, though.

The Prozac only reins it in - I refer to "it" as The Demon or Sybrie The Tenth (more on that in a minute).  Because it was reined in, I could research the problem, and those know me will appreciate just how bad it was that I couldn't do research.  I've been in and out of counseling - my current LSW says I'm good to go without unless I have a crisis.  I've learned and use coping methods.

I strongly recommend "Overcoming Depression" to anyone dealing with this problem - directly or indirectly.  The authors are a married couple with a Greek surname.  His is, I'm pretty sure, Demetri Papolous.  It explains the biological and psychological causes and gives guidelines for living with and tracking the course of the illness.  I wore out my first copy!

The coping methods work better for some individuals than for others, obviously.  The ones I find work best for me are humor and what I call the Charlie Translator.  Charlie was my dad, and he had a real problem with expressing himself - even praise sounded negative.  So I trained myself to filter what people say and do through the Charlie Translator and then apply a heavy dose of Benefit of The Doubt.

Humor usually takes the form of hyperbole.  Sometimes it seems like I'm seriously claiming to be crazier than I am, but remember that when I was diagnosed (and put on Prozac) that the mentally ill were scary to most people.  I took that fear and mocked it, and the habit has remained.  Sybrie the Tenth was born of this - I made a crack once about "nine out of ten of my personalities".  It became a running joke, especially with my friend Sandy.  That tenth personality is The Demon, or Number Ten.  Sandy eventually combined "Sybil" and "Carrie" and we gave her the royal-sounding name Sybrie The Tenth.  (I do not actually have multiples - and no mockery of those who do is intended.)

Some methods of coping can be quite annoying.  If you know someone like this, be patient with them. They aren't hurting you, or anyone else, so let it go.  This is how they keep their Sybrie in the cage.  If they are hurting someone (including themselves) then they need to find a new method ASAP.

Anyway, thanks for reading.  Nine out of ten of my personalities are enjoying being 50.

Private lives of Public Figures

Bill Cosby slipping women a mickey and raping them.  Michael Jackson molesting children.  Johnny Depp slapping his wife around.  Too many to name cheating on spouses/significant others.  Sex and drugs in general.

Celebrities are role models, but so are we.  The only difference is that their sphere of influence is larger.  Fans of the folks I listed above will object, no doubt, that an accusation is not the same as having actually done the deed. For purposes of the point I'm about to make, all of that is immaterial.

Years ago, I was told that to go to the movies was to reward "the Hollywood lifestyle" of divorce and adultery and debauchery.  It made no sense to me then and makes no sense to me now.  We pay actors to act, singers to sing, comedians to make us laugh.

Laughing at "BROWM right on top of good ole Noah" doesn't mean I'm okay with roofies.  Rocking out to Thriller doesn't mean I believe kids need molested.  Enjoying Pirates of the Caribbean doesn't mean I like punching women.  None of that even means I think the accusations are unfounded. (Some I do believe are unfounded or exaggerated, but that's also beside my point.)

Look at the current Presidential race.  All these candidates are being judged, at least in part, on their personal lives instead of the qualifications for the job.  Can you imagine being told you didn't get a customer service job because you didn't divorce your cheating husband?  Not because you came into the interview and insulted the other interviewees, not because you refused to serve the poor or the ethnic, but for something that has no bearing on the job?

It's lunch time.  If I go to Subway, it doesn't mean I'm okay with what Jared did.  It just means I like them sandwiches!