He Said/She Said

Yet another famous person is being accused of rape or uninvited groping or similar misconduct (sexual or otherwise).  People who have never been in the victim's situation, obviously, can't understand why they didn't report it at the time.  Why they didn't report then is less the issue in my mind than this:  Why are they reporting now?

Rape victims in particular are reluctant to come forward.  There's a lot of shame, a lot of emotional trauma involved.  Some of us (yes, us) even feel we are somehow to blame.  Again, I'm not questioning the lack of reporting at the time.  I'm questioning why report years, even decades, later?

Sometimes they say it's because he is now in a position of power that she fears will endanger others.  Sometimes it's because they only recently recovered the memories or got up enough guts to speak out. Those are valid reasons.  

But the physical evidence is likely long gone.  There's the question of remorse - has the attacker, quite frankly, learned better in the intervening years?  The people who wouldn't believe you then are less likely to believe you now.  The shame, the self-blame, is going to be multiplied by the Court of Public Opinion.  Unless you can stand with a group of his other victims, or with witnesses, why report it at all?  

That's what I can't understand about these reports. 

*Technically, what happened to me was not rape.  But neither are many of the incidents celebrities are being accused of, so I'm including myself here.

** My use of  "he" and "she" are not intended to imply only males victimize only females.  It's simply to simplify the language.

Mainstreaming

I see a lot in the news about special needs children being mistreated in schools.  This is one of the reasons I am not a fan of mainstreaming.  I am of the opinion that if your child is not capable of following the basic rules or doing the work, they should not be mainstreamed.

In the 1970s and 1980s, when I was in public school, we had a Special Education class.  They got the extra help they needed without disrupting anything.  If they only needed help in certain subjects, they attended regular classes for the others.  I had "sped" friends -- one of them is my sister-in-law now.  The system was hardly perfect, but it worked.

Too many children today are being mainstreamed who simply should not be.  I saw a story about an autistic boy being "slammed onto the ground and handcuffed" because he was acting out in class.  More research revealed that the boy was a danger to himself and others.  He was handcuffed for that reason only - and had thrown himself to the ground.

A child who can follow the basic rules and can do the work with a little extra help?  No problem.  Get them a tutor, or a Special Education class, and go for it.  Let a nonverbal child do an oral report as a written one.  The student with leg braces might have to violate the dress code.  Those things I can back. 

Mainstreaming is meant to be a kindness, but it really isn't.  Not for the children with more severe issues or for their classmates.  The classmates are expected to learn in a chaotic environment.  The child is going to go out into the world upon graduation, thinking that they can succeed.  In what field is 60% excellent work?  In what profession is it acceptable to hit yourself or others? 

Proponents of mainstreaming say it's good for the child's self-esteem.  I support that.  But we also have to teach them how the world works.  Build them up within their limitations.  "Yes, you have problems with X, but you are so good at Y."

As for bullying... Bullying isn't going anywhere.  There will always be bullies, everywhere.  At school, at work, at family reunions.  If you take their ammunition, they will find something else.  Example: School uniforms stop bullying about clothes - until they see each other outside of school.  Uniforms do nothing when a student is bullied about weight.  The same logic applies to mainstreaming.  In fact, mainstreaming exposes some children to more bullying.

"No child left behind." Mainstreaming might do that, but at what cost?  We end up with completely unprepared adults, with excellent self-esteem, getting left behind.  Some children should be left behind, out of the main stream.  They become the adults who maintain the tranquility of the shallows.

You Are Enough

This blog entry is for a contest:  You Are Enough, hosted by Positive Writer.

I write fiction.  I've got two completed novels under my belt, a work that's either a short story or a novella depending on your definition, and one work in progress that is likely to end up in the same nebulous category.  I also have a "Barbie Blog" in which I tell photo stories with dolls.  I've written a few fan fictions.  Those who have read my work tell me it's good, but almost none of it have been shared with the general public.  What's the point of writing if not to be published, to make a little money, to put it out there?

The purpose of this, my usual blog, is persuasive writing.  If I can't convince my readers to agree with me, I hope to bring them to an understanding of my position.  Today I intend to convince you that You Are Enough.

Storytelling is as old as mankind.  Most societies have had a special place for the spinners of tales.  I feel sorry for the ones who don't, to be perfectly frank.  Stories are how groups transmit values and history. If you are a storyteller, you are part of that tradition.

Has your writing touched another?  Writing fiction in any form is creating worlds.  (In the case of fan fiction, expanding upon a world created by another might be more accurate.)  You are populating these worlds with people.  Bringing these fictional people to life, making them real, is an accomplishment in and of itself.  Making your reader care means you succeeded, even if the reader is "just your sister". 

Have you held your own in a civil debate?  To present a position and defend it is a victory.  To convince others to join you, even more so.  Even realizing you have faulty logic is a win - you learned something.

If you have not yet touched or convinced a reader, don't despair.  Hone your craft and you will eventually do so.  For the time being, focus on why you are enough for yourself.  Some of my early writings, technically speaking, were garbage.  If you are at this stage, know that improvement is possible.  You have it in you to do so.

Writing is art.  Art is, at the core, about self-expression.  The desire to create, to persuade, to touch another, is enough.  You are that desire.  You are enough.  And so am I.