When I talk to people, I am prone to touching their arms or hands. I've been known to ambush hug people. (Not anymore, as I've realized that's crossing a boundary.) There is no sexual intent. I have a very real psychological need for nonsexual touch. I think all humans do, but some of us more than others.
There was a teacher in my middle school who was a toucher. He never did anything overtly sexual, but people talked because he was always touching the students. A hand on the shoulder, things like that. Today he'd probably be reprimanded and maybe even fired. That makes me sad. We all could do with more benefit of the doubt.
I've never been one to bully children into hugging me. If I ask for a hug and the child declines, I'm okay with that. If another adult takes offense, I defend the kid. I can't do much if the kid gets scolded later, but I do what I can.
Why not simply forgo asking? Because I remember being a kid and no one wanted to hug me. I treasured visits from my great-aunts because they hugged me. My parents had a friend who let me sit on his lap and I did that well into my teens, until someone raised the question of appropriateness. I've allowed "bad touch" because at least it was touch. If the child in question is like I was, my request for a hug is a boon to them. So I ask.
Which leads me to my point, if I even have one. There are kind ways to request boundaries from us touchers. We will sometimes forget, particularly if we're emotional. Please don't scream at us. Please don't recoil as if a snake bit you. We are harmless.
