Role Models

The news these days is full of celebrities being caught in bad behavior - and a resultant fall from grace annoys me.  Not so much because I think they don't deserve it, because some of them deserve worse than they are getting.  What annoys me about it is the shock "normal" folks experience when they discover a celebrity is not above reproach.

Years ago, I was told that going to the movies was, in effect, approving the Hollywood Lifestyle.  I thought that a strange way to look at it - after all, if I pay a waitress to serve my lunch, what she does at home is not my business.

The big one right now is Bill Cosby.  That endearing, funny man so many of us wished was our dad or uncle turns out to be an old pro at "slipping her a mickey".  But that doesn't make The Chicken Heart any less funny.  That doesn't mean we can't still giggle when God asks Noah how long he can tread water.

There are a couple of celebrities that recently got into trouble over calling someone a "nigger".  Both of them are from the south, old enough to remember the civil rights movement, and were talking about a specific person they did not like.  Anyone with half a brain, in the 21st century, should not be using that word, but the context is important.    

But I digress.  My real point here is that any role model is imperfect.  Even you.  Yes, you are a role model.  You can admire Angelina Jolie as an actress or as a humanitarian while disapproving of her past personal life.

The trick is teaching your kids to have sense about it.  I've said it before - talk to them.  Kids aren't stupid.  When someone they admire behaves badly, discuss it with them.  Teach them that people are not perfect, not even celebrities.  Teach them to emulate and reward the good in people without being blind to the faults.  Remember it for yourself.  None of us should be defined by a single action, good or bad.

Marriage and flags

ON GAY MARRIAGE 

Bestiality and pedophilia are not going to become legal because animals and children are not capable of informed consent.  There may be some basis to the thinking that polygamy might become legal, but as I have said before - if everyone involved knows what they're getting into, and no one is being hurt, why not?  

An aside to my Anarchist friends, who say the government has no business in marriage, anyway, I must disagree.  Marriage is a legal contract, as romanticized as it may be, and a legal contract is exactly the sort of thing government does have business in.  And as a genealogist, I feel for those who  would have to research those undocumented marriages.  

"The Bible says...."   The USA is not founded on religion, but upon freedom. What any Holy Book says has no bearing.    

ON FLAGS 

Speaking of things we worship, let's move on to flags.  A flag is nothing more or less than a symbol, and symbols can mean anything.  That's why dream interpretation is so difficult.  Yes, the flag in question was meant to rally the troops in support of, among other things, racism. The CSA's founding documents are full of references to the natural superiority of whites.  (I learned this only recently, myself.  Don't feel bad if you didn't know.)

 But even those rallied troops disagreed about what it stood for.  At least some of the Johnny Rebs were not fans of slavery. Compare it to the gay marriage thing.  I don't want to marry a woman (have slaves), I might even think it's wrong to marry a woman (have slaves), but my right to do should be validated.     

It's been over a hundred and fifty years.  The symbol has evolved even from that debate.  To most of the people I know, it's nothing more than a reminder to stand up for their beliefs or a way of identifying as a Southerner.  Yes, I know some racists who display it.  But they are vastly outnumbered.  

If we ban every flag that's flown over a wrong, there will be a lot of naked flagpoles around.  The American Flag - you know, the one only a traitor would even look at cross-eyed - flew over not only slavery, but the Indian Removal and Japanese Interment Camps.  The Jolly Roger, which I see often on children's clothes,  flew over all kinds of raping and pillaging.  Yet we understand that when we fly those flags, we aren't advocating that behavior.   

Draw a swastika on something and let people happen to see it.  When they freak out, tell them it was originally a symbol of protection and that they, therefore, are wrong to be offended by it.  Maybe even point out that the Nazis drew it in a very specific manner, different from yours.  Their reaction will tell you all you need to know about how a symbol evolves.  In the case of the swastika, it has been tainted by association with genocide.  It no longer means what it once did.  The Rebel flag evolved the opposite way, that's all.  

And even if it didn't, the First Amendment gives us the freedom to be horrible.