If you buy your kids guns, they will be Jack The Ripper. If you buy your kids fashion dolls, they will be prissy and brainless. What?! That's possibly the silliest thing I ever heard of. A BB Gun or a Barbie is an inanimate object. It has no power over you or yours. What has the power over you, particularly as a child, is other people. I live with a seven year old boy who plays with both weapons and dolls. He is not growing up to be either Charlie Manson or Liberace.
He knows not to shoot anything with a face and a pulse - unless he is going to eat it, or it is trying to eat him - even with Nerf. Violence he sees on TV and video games is explained in context. "Yes, James Bond killed that guy, but that guy was trying to blow up Europe." "Captain Kirk was bad to want to kill all the Klingons. I'm glad he figured that out."
The dolls technically aren't his, they belong to the crazy aunt in the attic. At least, the evil fashion dolls are. His plastic people are 'action figures' and therefore either belong in the War Toys discussion or are socially acceptable. The fashion dolls generally have what he calls "Barbie School". He is teacher and principal. Curriculum has covered subjects like Pokemon, volcanoes, video games, dinosaurs... never fashion! His class has a variety of skin tones (many of them aren't even human), they all get along, and most of them look like they've been through a wind tunnel.
We teach by example. I have used Barbies for many years to teach kids of both genders about the things that make us different, and how it ultimately doesn't matter unless you're hurting someone. My Barbies have had adventures that'd curl Mattel's hair! The hunters and military men in my family have always been very big on the safety issues. And, no, that doesn't meant put the safety on before handing the gun to Junior.
Inanimate objects do not have that kind of power unless YOU give it that power. Even the official toy company line has no power once that toy is in your kid's hot little hands. Hand your little girl a Barbie and she's going to emulate the people around her. Hand your boy a Nerf Bazooka and he's gonna do what he's been taught is appropriate. Switch the toys and the kids will be fine.
I used to get really mad about "Boy Toys" and "Girl Toys" because I felt that it limited the child's options, but I've come to realize that it is a generalization. Most boys prefer certain toys, most girls prefer other toys. This is not meant to be a limitation, no one is going to stop a little boy from buying Barbie. Except maybe you...
