Doing Christmas Right

Every year at this time, I see a lot of debate about the correct way to do the holiday season.  Since I do Christmas, that's the one I have the most knowledge and experience with, but I believe a lot of these thoughts can apply to any holiday, at any time of the year.

When does the tree/decor go up?  In my little world, this is after Thanksgiving.  That weekend is full of activities with the larger family and in the spaces between them, my apartment gets decorated.  I don't get upset at others for decorating earlier or later because they aren't hurting anyone. (I do think they're silly, but silly is harmless fun.) They have their reasons, and it's none of my beeswax. 

When does the tree/decor come down?  One of my sisters is Catholic and her decor stays up until Epiphany - also known as Twelfth Night or The Twelfth Day of Christmas.  Her son takes his tree down (quite methodically, I might add) on the evening of the day itself.  The rest of the extended family does it at their leisure, me included.  My decor does stay up until after the new year begins, but beyond that, who knows? 

How much decor to use?  Some are minimalist.  Others have front lawns that rival professional displays.  Some do strict themes and others just embrace utter chaos.  Again, it's a matter of taste.  Again, it's harmless fun.  Don't stress out over what other people do.  Just have a giggle if you think they're silly, let them have a giggle at you, and move along.

What is the proper procedure for opening the gifts?  This one is a bit trickier, since so many of us do gift exchanges in the homes of others.  It boils down to one question:  Who owns/rents the home you are in?  THAT PERSON SETS THE RULES.  If in your home the proper method is utter chaos, fine.  If the gifts have to be opened alphabetically by height, fine.  But if you are at Uncle Bob's, you follow Uncle Bob's rules.  This is the exception to the taste/fun/beeswax rule. 

For my sister, Christmas is a holy day.  For me, it's a wonderful way to love and be loved.  What works for me may not work for her.  We spend the day together.  We compromise.  Because in the end, it's each other that matters.  That is doing Christmas right.

Shaming

I keep seeing news stories about people being "shamed".  Mom-shamed, fat-shamed, everything-under-the-sun-shamed.  Setting aside issues with so-called journalists using this type of informal language, I want to address a certain subset of these stories.  The ones in which the person is "shamed" but then they "clap back" and triumph.

If I try to kill someone and they fight me off, I don't get arrested for murder.  I get arrested for attempted murder.   These headlines should say "XXXX shuts down attempted shaming" instead of "XXXX gets mom-shamed and claps back".   Not only is that accurate, it's more concise.

I suppose I can forgive the casual language in human interest stories, but this one makes me giggle every time.  Maybe I'm being pedantic.  I should be glad they aren't spreading exaggerations of what politicians did or said.  But instead, I'm reporter-shaming.  I wonder if any of them will clap back.

The Ghosts of Kings Island

Kings Island is an amusement park north of Cincinnati.  It opened in 1972 and I think I've been going there at least once a year, as my father's company picnics were usually held there, ever since.  The years I didn't go at all are made up for in spades by the years I had season passes.

On the most recent trip, we went up the Eiffel Tower (a 1/3 scale replica of the real thing).  The elevators are glass and I watched as we rose.  The counterweight and cables caught my eye and got me to thinking about Tower Johnny.  But he's not the only reported ghost in the park or even the only death related to the park.  

I'm a skeptical believer.  I've had experiences of my own (refer to my earlier blog Do You Believe In Ghosts for more on that) but I try to find a natural explanation first.  Usually it really is just the wind or a trick of the light.  "Ghostyboo" is my go-to comment when something odd happens, but I'm just playing.  It's also a reminder to myself not to jump to conclusions.    

Anyway, for those of you who aren't familiar with Tower Johnny, here's the story.  For many years I thought it happened in 1984 (my senior year) but it was actually the year before.  Friday, May 13, 1983.  A young man enjoying Grad Night, for some reason, crossed into the restricted areas of the tower and into the elevator shaft.  

I looked all this up. (Imagine that!) His name really was John.  I found many different versions of what actually happened that night, most of them making his death even more gruesome than it was.  The official investigation found that he was probably struck by the counterweight, became entangled in the cables, and then fell 200 feet.   I don't think any more description is needed. 

Anyway, since then, people have reported sightings.  It's rumored that park employees call things like anomalous sensor readings "Johnny".  Some claim he's been seen in the area of The Beast because the cables in question are somewhere in the woods around that coaster, which I find ridiculous.  If they disposed of the cables, why did they toss them into the woods? 

The other ghosts associated with the park are Tram Girl and Woody, who may be one and the same.  Tram Girl is the one I remember hearing about even as a child.  Bordering the north parking entrance, there is a small cemetery from the 1800s.  One of the graves belongs to a little girl named Missouri Jane.  Most investigators agree that Missouri Jane is probably Tram Girl.  Tram Girl is generally reported in the parking lot (thus the name - she was often seen by tram operators) and wears an old-fashioned blue dress.   It is believed (why, I was unable to discover) that she drowned in a lake at the rear of the park.

This is where Woody comes in.  In 1985, a river-rafting ride opened at the lake.  At places along the White Water Canyon, there are small shelters used by employees to monitor the ride.  They are quite deep in the woods.  Employees report hearing the laughter of a child, even after the last riders are gone, and rocks being thrown at the shelters.  

There's also Racer Boy.  He's a little boy, dressed all in white, who is seen climbing on the Racer roller coaster.  Sometimes he's seen in an empty seat of the train.  The trains on the Racer are said to have been used previously on another coaster, one a little boy fell from and was killed.  The Racer was there when the park opened - in 1972 - but there were no reports of this ghost until the 1990s.  There's no record of the accident in question.  

There have been surprisingly few deaths at the park, considering its long history and the sheer number of people there even on a slow day.  Most of them were due to people disregarding safety regulations.

The deadliest day in the park's history was Black Sunday.  In 1991, three people were killed in the space of an hour.  At the lake in the Oktoberfest section of the park (not the one mentioned before) a fellow decided to cool off a little by splashing water on himself, or maybe to splash his friend, and fell in.  Presumably, he was convulsing, because he was being electrocuted - there was an previously unknown short in the underwater lights.  His friend and a park employee jumped in after him.  His friend and the park employee died. He lived, but was permanently disabled.  While that rescue was ongoing, a woman riding The Flight Commander fell 60 feet from the ride. (Flight Commander was a "flight simulator".  It could turn upside down at the rider's control.)  It's thought that she was trying to see the air ambulance at the lake or that she passed out from drinking.  There have been no reports of any Black Sunday ghosts, at least not to my knowledge.  

Why Don't Schools Teach....

Used to be, Home Ec or Shop was a required course.  People complained that the skills were out-dated and they're now offered as an elective if at all.  Yet I hear it all the time - why don't schools teach gardening, woodworking, sewing, or cooking?

I have a variation on that question: Why don't you teach those things? Why are we not instilling in the young a love of these creative and cost-effective habits?  Why should they learn skills they never see the adults around them use?   

I know a young man, a freshman in high school.  He knows the basics of gardening, cooking, sewing, carpentry, mechanics and engineering.  Because his adults did/do and enjoy those things.  Even if the work itself isn't enjoyable, he's seen the pride taken in a job well done and benefited from the money saved.  If your teenager or child isn't learning these skills, it's on you.  

Kids of a creative bent are constantly told to pursue something else as a career because there's "no money in that".  These skills are manual labor, and therefore nothing to brag about as a profession.  Unless, of course, you manage to own the company or become famous.  

As for the math people keep saying schools should teach?  How to play the stock market, for example?  Guess what... they often have elective classes that teach those things.  Guess what else... most people are not going to use those skills in an economy that leaves most of us floundering from payday to payday and running a Go Fund Me for medical expenses.  

All math is based on what we learn in elementary school - addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division.  Balancing a checkbook is rarely anything more than adding and subtracting. Compound interest is more complex, but still boils down to those basics.  

Even more galling is the fact that thse are the same people claiming that teaching reproductive biology is "not the school's job".  And don't even get me started on "indoctrination" because that's a blog in and of itself. 

Amendment Number Two

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

As with most political issues, I'm very middle-of-the-road on gun control.  I have friends on both sides of this debate and can understand both points of view.  I think the first thing we need to do is look at the language and historical context of the amendment itself. 

A well regulated Militia: Regulated means "Controlled or Supervised by means of rules and regulations" and Militia has several meanings that might be applied here.  It can be a civilian military force, a rebel force that opposes a regular army, or all able bodied citizens eligible for military service.  

Being necessary to the security of a free state:  We need it to keep our hard won freedom.  

The right of the people to keep and bear Arms: "The People" is the crux of this section.  The People means all Americans, collectively.  Keep and bear arms means have and use guns. 

Shall not be infringed: Infringing on something is limiting or undermining it.

Paraphrased into more modern terminology, it says "Since we need a sort of civil army in case our government becomes oppressive, we shouldn't limit the collective American right to own and have guns."  Simple enough.  

But... and you know there is at least one... Is telling individuals they can't have an Uzi infringing upon The People's rights?    Is any given civilian a well regulated militia?  This is where the debate rages.  (Not that an actual debate would rage, but I digress.) 

Any comments on this blog or on links to this blog that fail to retain a civilized tone 

WILL BE DELETED. 

1. "No one needs an assault rifle."  Of course not, in normal day-to-day life.  No one needs Barbies, but I have the right to keep and bear them!  Yes, Barbie is not known for killing dozens of people in minutes, but bear with me.  I'll address that.

Remember the historical context, too.  The Founding Fathers want us to be able to stand against the government if it becomes oppressive.  To do that, we need similar weaponry and skills. To fulfill the desires of the Founding Fathers, We The People do indeed need an assault rifle.

2. "Barbies can't kill people like these guns can."  Of course not.  The analogy can be made with things that have that capability.  Cars driven into a crowd, for example.  Shall we advocate the banning of motor vehicles?  

3. "You don't care about the murdered" and "You wanna take my hunting rifle".  All of my gun-guys care about those who were killed and most of my non-gun-guys volunteer to take any leftover venison you might have.  All these statements are is parroting of propaganda.  The NRA in particular is really good at convincing people that any gun control at all is only the first step in a dastardly plot to disarm us all totally.  That's called Slippery Slope Logic and I was warned against it in high school. 

The Crux Of The Matter  

I try not to have opinions on matters I know little about.  Before forming an opinion, I become Research Whore (cue superhero music) and use sources from as many sides of the issue as I can find. My self-educated, but considered, opinion follows:

1. Any given individual is not a "well regulated militia". Chuck Norris, maybe, but I digress again.... Any given individual is not The People. 

2. Freedom of Speech doesn't allow me to incite riots.  Freedom of Religion doesn't let me commit human sacrifice.  Even "the pursuit of happiness" is limited... no matter how happy it might make me, there are things the law says I can't do without punishment. No reasonable human being believes any of those things are infringements, as they are needed for public safety.  

3. Allowing only screened and trained adults of sound mind to own weaponry is in keeping with what the Founding Fathers had in mind. Well-regulated means rules are applied.  Militia means trained and organized in a group. 

4. Most of the mass shootings that spur this debate happen in "gun free" zones.  Would the inevitable scofflaw be so willing to open fire in a public place if, for all they knew, most of the intended victims were packing heat themselves?  

5. In summary, the well regulated militia called for by the Founding Fathers can simply be a group of everyday citizens that have proven themselves capable of defending The People. Those citizens, and only those citizens, should be permitted to bear arms anywhere they go. 

Beggars' Night Is Not Halloween

Halloween (aka All Hallows' Eve or All Saints' Eve) is celebrated on October 31.  It is the Eve of November 1, All Hallows' or All Saints' Day. This is a time in the liturgical year dedicated to remembering the dead, particularly saints and martyrs.  It is not a movable holiday.  

Christianity is not the only religion to hold the date sacred. This is not a movable holiday for the Pagans, either.  Samhain is the end of summer and the beginning of winter, a sign of death and rebirth.  As my sister is wont to say "The veil is thinning" at this time of year.  What veil?  The veil between worlds. Thus all the ghosts and things.

There is currently a movement afoot to move Halloween to, I believe, the last Saturday of October.  They want to move a religious holiday for the sake, frankly, of profit and convenience.  And they don't even know what they are talking about.  

These people are talking about Beggars' Night, not about Halloween.  Many of the trappings of a secular Halloween are tied into Celtic and Gaelic harvest festivals and Beggars' Night (aka Trick or Treat) is one of those things.  This movement is rather akin to moving Christmas to make caroling more convenient and profitable.

All the local communities in my area already move Beggars' Night to the weekend.  Trick-or-treaters can hit one town on Friday and another on Saturday.  Spend Sunday with a belly ache... but I digress.  Since I don't hold the date sacred, I move my totally secular Halloween party in the same manner.  But for those who hold the holiday sacred, those for whom it is a holy day, Halloween cannot be moved. 

Why, if we're already moving around what they think is Halloween, are they calling for a law to do so?   In this age of diversity training, is Big Candy really this ignorant of the religious meaning of October 31?   

Mermaids

Oh, dear god, y'all!  First things first, not everyone objecting to the casting of the live-action Ariel are doing it for racist reasons.  At least, not that they're aware of.  Some people just don't like change and would be complaining if ANYONE but a blue eyed ginger got the role.  (Personally, I'm just upset that Divine can't play Ursula.) Put on your thinking caps, y'all, we're going in.

POINT: In the original tale, the mermaid is described as having skin "like a rose leaf".  So she was green? The mermaid also dies at the end, so there's that....

POINT: Disney named their mermaid after a male character in Shakespeare's The Tempest.  They gave her red hair for artistic reasons - something about wanting not-a-blond and brunette being hard to animate underwater, if I recall correctly.    There's also something about her being the only redhead in her family, but I'm not sure what version of the tale this came from.  Disney changed the ending.  Ariel is not, and never was, the original.

POINT: In historical sightings - and yes, I have a book here to back me up - merfolk have been described as follows:  Roaring. Scaled even in the human section. Having green hair.  Long green hair. Having purple blood. Mossy hair. Black or tawny skin. Different colors on belly and back. Gray.

I've listed only the descriptions that differ from the European-based archetype.  One description even says they are "frequently taken for Indian women bathing" until the tail is seen. 

POINT:  We're talking about nearly universal folklore.  Cultures all over the world have mermaids, sirens, lorelei, naiads, ri...  I could go on but you get the idea.  Merfolk come in all the same colors as humans.  And a few others if you believe the reported sightings.

POINT: Ariel is a Disney character and they can change her up any way they want. 

I personally won't be seeing the live action movie.  I just don't care for live action versions of classic cartoons.  The only live action Disney remake I've seen was Beauty and the Beast.  I only watched it because I wanted to see how it was possible to make it any more obvious Lefou was in love with Gaston. 

Bugs

It seems that every day I see at least one post on my social media about "This place has bugs!  Don't go there!"  I'm actually a little jealous of the ignorance of those posting such things.  Yes, it is possible that the place has an infestation, but there is no need to engage in possible slander and/or libel, especially if the situation has been handled.  Restaurants in particular go through periodic inspections and any sign of infestation is dealt with ASAP or the Board of Health will close them down.

I can't tell you how many times I've been told not to eat "there" because someone saw a roach there once.  Never mind the excellent reports the Board of Health gives the place, the apparent cleanliness, and the fact that I personally have seen no evidence of critters.  Never mind that the manager of the place either was not informed or dealt with the situation appropriately.  Just don't eat there ever because someone may or may not have seen a roach there.

A roach can climb into the bag of a schoolchild, ride to school in comfort, crawl out later.  From there, it gets into someone else's bag.  That person stops at the store on the way home, the roach crawls across the floor, up a cart, and into yet another bag.  Shopper stops at a local diner for a quick bite and the roach is now in a restaurant.  Probably gonna die soon, though, because public buildings and businesses use pest control.  That bug was in a home, a school, a grocery, and a restaurant - all in one day.  They get around, is what I'm saying.  All insects do.

Then there's the question of identification.  I was once shown a "bed bug" that looked nothing like a bed bug.  The person who identified this horribly deformed bed bug proceeded to tell anyone who would listen all about it.  Don't go there, she said, they got bed bugs. Even after the place was cleared by pest control professionals.  (I'm pretty sure the bug in question was actually a mayfly.)

Oh, and every red bump that appears on you after being in a public place isn't a bed bug bite.

Fraud is always fun.  I could use a stock photo of some sort of vermin and claim I took it in my hotel room (the white background is the sheet or wall).  I could falsely claim the management laughed in my face when I showed them the horrible infestation.  I could go all over social media making these claims and even people who do not know me, who have never even heard of me, are telling folks about the Hotel Filth.

I have no doubt many of those sharing these things have good intent.  Just please, everyone, stop and think before you hit share.  Are you sure this isn't an over-reaction?  A mistake?  An outright lie?  You could be ruining someones reputation, even their livelihood.  What if the accuser was talking about your workplace, your school, your home?

Invisible Issues

I saw an article - if you could call it that - titled something like "Five Things I Do When People Say I Don't Look Sick".  I don't know if it was meant to be funny or if this writer was legitimately complaining, but the thing made me angry on behalf of those who say "you don't look sick".  The things this writer does when people say that?  Eye roll, heavy sigh, etc.

If someone is honestly surprised to find out I'm ill, that's a compliment.  It means I'm doing a good job of coping.  An appropriate response would be "Thank you."  Not an eye roll.  Not a heavy sigh.  Not an etc.

I have actually had the following exchange: "Why are you on Disability?"  "I'm crazy." "You don't look crazy."  My response was not to get mad at him, but to chuckle and make a joke.  Something about leaving my straitjacket at home. My lack of eye rolls and heavy sighs led to a respectful discussion of Dysthymia.

Granted, my use of the word crazy is hyperbole.  It's a throwback to the early days of my diagnosis, when mental illness still carried a huge stigma.  I dealt with the stigma through hyperbole and humor.  One job I had, my co-workers nicknamed me the Psycho Dish Lady.  (I was a dishwasher.)  They also felt comfortable coming to me with questions about mental health issues.

Yes, sometimes people are attacking when they say "you don't look sick" or "you don't look disabled".  I'm not claiming that never happens.  But ignorance is not malice. If I get mad or even just annoyed, I'm closing down lines of communication.  This can be a teaching moment, if I  handle it well.

When dealing with the ignorant - and we're all ignorant about something - the worst course of action is to put them on the defense.  Even the jerks can be reached if handled well.

This doesn't just apply here, either, but in any area.  I've been called a racist because I said or did something in ignorance.  I've been called a homophobe for joking with my gay friends. I've even been asked to sign a petition banning a T-shirt that I owned.   Those who assume the worst about me, especially repeatedly, are no longer in my life.  And it's their loss.

Eye rolls, heavy sighs, etc, are counterproductive.  All they do is insult the well-intentioned.  Kindness and humor work a lot better and open the lines of communication.   The writer of this piece isn't helping any one's situation.

Abortion

Yep, I'm going there.  The narrative on this subject is driving me even crazier than I already am. 

My personal feeling about the subject?  Those days are behind me now, but the only way I would have even considered abortion would be if the Grim Reaper is involved with or without the procedure.  For any other circumstance, I much prefer the other options. 

"What about a girl that's been raped or in the case of incest?"  Personally, I'd see the former as a blessing in disguise, but I understand that many women would not, could not.  Generally speaking, a child of incest will be healthy, unless it's multi-generational.  (See pretty much any royal family in history for examples.)  In either of those cases, if the mother can't or won't keep the child, I'd recommend adoption. 

"The Bible says..."  First things first, what any holy book says has no bearing on the law in the USA.  But I will refer you to Leviticus 27:3-7 and Exodus 21:22-25 (a child's life has little or no value) and to Genesis 2:7, Job 33:4, and Ezekiel 37:5-6 (life begins at the first breath).  If it's a sin, that's between her and God. 

"Science has proven life begins at conception."  No, it has not.  It's proven that your DNA sequence is human at conception.  Everyone in the graveyard has a human DNA sequence, but we're under no delusion that they are alive.  No one can definitely say when abortion becomes murder. 

"What if it was you, or your daughter?"  I've had pregnancy scares.  I've seen some of my friends and minions (admittedly not daughters) through pregnancy scares.  Only once did I accept abortion as a option, since her life was endangered.  But ultimately it isn't my call.  It's the pregnant person's call, and federal law has already supported her right to an abortion (Roe vs Wade). 

"Women don't want babies, they should keep their legs together".  That's just laughable.  Rape aside, I'm willing to bet very few abortions are performed on women who never used contraception. 

"She should put it up for adoption if she don't want it." I agree.  But I'm not the law.  If I was the law, and was arrogant enough to outlaw everything I disapprove of, you wouldn't be happy. Trust me on this.

And on a final note:  To the best of my knowledge, none of these "bans" are actual bans.  A 12 year old who got gang raped at a family reunion probably can get an abortion.  Since they are state laws, none of them affect the entire nation.  Know what you're talking about before getting all up in my face. 

The Single Life

People act like being single is the worst fate imaginable.  I see them plunging into relationship after relationship, pining desperately in between.  I see them staying with partners who mistreat them, even to the point of actual abuse. And I try not to judge.  I used to be one of them.

As a single person, I have no one telling me my partner is cheating on me because he hugged some lady at Red Lobster. I don't get accused of cheating.  I don't get accused of being stupid enough to be tricked into cheating.  Nobody gets upset if I'm not "in the mood".  Best part - nobody cheats on me.

As a single person, I can pursue my own interests.  I no longer feel the need to pretend to be someone I'm not.  I see a lot of men and women losing themselves for the sake of a relationship. 

As a single person, I don't live in fear of being beaten.  I did always draw the line at physical abuse, but a lot of people seem to prefer it to being single. 

A healthy relationship is a fantastic thing.  One with mutual respect and good communication and lots of sex if you're so inclined.  But far too many of us are not holding out for that.  There are worse things than being single. 


And no, I do not want you to set me up with your cousin Bob.

Blind Boxes

I keep seeing these toys that, when you buy them, you have no idea which you'll get or what bits and pieces they will come with.  They remind me of the trading cards my brothers used to collect.  Get a double, trade with your buddy, no big deal.  Usually they just came in an envelope or a tiny box.  I like the "World's Smallest Toys" because they're good for the dollhouse.

Blind boxes have exploded in popularity and now you can buy a thing the size of your head (or bigger) that has a whole bunch of things in it.  Again, if that's what floats your boat, go for it.  But once all is said and done, in most cases, you end up with maybe enough toys to fill a cereal bowl and enough trash to fill a stew pot.

With some of them, the packaging is meant to be used as a play set or display, but even with those there are:  Cellophane-type wrapping on the entire thing, a collector's guide, cardboard boxes or compartment doors for each item, and plastic envelopes for each item.

Since so many are dolls, I see unboxing and review videos, and every time, I'm more impressed by the amount of waste than by the toys.  Yes, reuse and recycle is a thing, but so is reduce.




UPDATE:  I found another one I like.  Five Surprise Mini Brands.  Dollhouse scale, realistic looking, toy versions of actual products.  Minimal waste if you're into the reuse thing.

On The Fringes

I'm going to start this blog with a little background information.  Bear with me, readers who already know this stuff.  I am a middle aged woman, never married, never had children of my own.  I come from a large family - seven siblings, all of whom have gifted me with at least one minion.  I became The Aunt.  You know, the one all families used to have: She babysat for free and caused a kid stampede every time she showed up, but she wasn't part of the nuclear family.  She lived on the fringes and was okay with it.

Several years ago, I moved in with a nephew.  The fringes I lived on got a lot shorter.  He and his wife said things like "I've got two kids.  A six year old and a forty year old."  They were in their late twenties/early thirties, so that was always good for a giggle.

Fast forward a little over a decade.  We didn't fight, not any more than any family would.  They didn't throw me out.  I didn't leave in a fit of rage.  I was simply ready to return to adulthood, which frankly had not been kind to me the first time around. 

Determining the new length of the fringes I live on, though...  WOW.  We treat it rather like I'm their grown child, gone off to college or something.  I do holidays with them.  His wife and I frequently run errands together.  I do laundry at their house and keep the boy overnight on a regular basis.

Some things have taken a little getting used to on all sides.  For most of the boy's life, it was the norm that Jeanie was going along on vacation or that he'd stay with Jeanie during one of Mom and Dad's weekend runaways. Mom "stealing Jeanie's truck" is no longer a given.  He's had to do the most adjusting, but even the extended family gets tangled in those changeable fringes.

My mental illness complicates things further.  Despite my meds and all the coping methods, that demon is still whispering constantly.  Despite the fact that my last major episode was fifteen years ago, those around me are concerned about my fragility.  I have to be very careful to make sure people know I'm okay with these changes, that I know they are healthy and sometimes even necessary.

All I can say it that it's a good thing I developed what little fashion sense I have in the early seventies.  I love fringes.  They're fun, if sometimes problematic.

GOAT?

I'm a dilettante football fan.  I don't understand all the ins and outs of the rules, the science of ball inflation, or statistics.  I didn't start watching football at all until about a decade ago.  But I'm not really going to be talking about football in and of itself here.

I'm hearing impaired, so a lot of the commentary on the games escaped me.  I read a lot on the subject, but I watched as an outsider.   One player I noticed a lot.  He reminded me of both a spoiled child and a bully.  He frequently complained to the refs about the other team doing the same thing he expected his team to get away with.  He screamed at his team mates and coaches.  He pouted whenever he wasn't the center of attention.  He -- there's no delicate way to put this -- hocked a loogie during a Moment of Silence for murdered children.  

I don't care how many Super Bowl rings he has.  The man is not a GOAT - he's an ASS.

The Whole Picture

Look at the image above.  Can you tell me what the picture is?  Can you tell me what any given individual piece is?  Of course not.  My asking you to do so is just silly.  Yet we do similar things every day.  To our fellow human beings.

One of the big stories in the news is "the MAGA kid".  Given the current political climate, the conclusion most of us jumped to was a reasonable one, but apparently we were wrong.  To what degree we were wrong remains to be seen.  But that video is just one piece of the puzzle.  

As more of the puzzle is assembled, the big picture is very complex.  I do stand by my description of the boy's expression as a smirk, though, although I'm no longer certain why he's smirking. 

In essence, we picked up a single puzzle piece and decided what the entire picture was.  

****

I see this a lot in smaller ways, every day.  Pretend you see the following:  A middle aged woman is checking out at Wal-Mart.  Within the purchases, you see a Barbie doll  and a Nerf gun.  Who is the doll for?  The gun?  

Look at a picture and write a story about it.  That's one of my favorite writing exercises.

The tendency to do this - to fill in the rest of the picture - is not something to be ashamed of.  It's hard wired into the human brain.  But we gotta be careful not to let it get the best of us.  Remain open to more information.  And, you know, don't go on a uninformed rampage.  That we should be ashamed of. 

Blades and Books

When my minions were little, they watched educational TV shows.  The specific show changed depending on the minion (after all, the oldest is now in her 40s and the youngest is currently in the womb) but every single one of them had the same game.  One of these things is not like the other.

Gillette has a new ad campaign that focuses on how men should teach their sons (and help each other) be "the best a man can get".  Don't punch each other out.  Don't force yourself on others of either sex.  Basically, just be a better human being.

People who can't tell why a banana is different from a monkey, a walrus, and a horse are in an uproar.  Gillette is attacking men!  The feminists have taken over!  Run for the hills!  Times like this are why adjectives exist.  Masculinity is fine, y'all.  Toxic - that's an adjective - masculinity is not.

The behaviors addressed in the ad apply to either sex.  But society has dismissed them when men do them.  Boys will be boys, right?   That's the entire point of the ad.  But man, have I seen some crazy responses.  One guy posed his children with guns.  (Well, the boys.  The girl was holding a flower.  But I digress.)  "I'll raise my kids how I want, you stupid razor company."   Did Gillette tell you not to teach your kids gun safety?  (Did Gillette tell you not to foist medieval gender roles on your daughter? Oops, digressed again.)  Because I missed that part.

If you use a Gillette razor, your penis is not going to vanish.  Unless you're using it very wrong.

*****

I discovered organizing guru Marie Kondo, or at least her philosophy, a long time ago.  She's in the news now for apparently ordering all of us to toss our books.

My books "spark joy" for me.  Therefore, Marie Kondo said I can keep them. Not that she's the boss of me, anyway.  God knows I ignore that advice about neat rows in my sock drawer.

In conclusion, let's play a round of that game.  Which is different: A suggestion, a hint, a bit of advice, or an order?