Maybe I'll end up deleting this without posting. Maybe I won't. I have warring feelings about it.
My demon has really been rattling her cage lately. I'm not sleeping well. My writing has stuttered to a halt. So...
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The second Trump Administration has Sybrie The Tenth (said demon) all riled up. Everything they do seems like an attack aimed directly at me. Well, not me personally, but most of my demographics. Cuts to the federal programs I depend on to allow me a measure of independence. (I know that's an oxymoron, but deal with it.) Social Security is probably safe - most politicians know that would be career suicide - but my apartment is HUD/Section Eight. My Medicare (thru SS) is supplemented by Medicaid and Food Stamps, both of which have already been meddled with. Every time I pick up my prescriptions, the total cost is different. Not by a huge amount but enough to bother me. Since I'm disabled, I don't have to put in work hours to "earn" my benefits. Yet. Talk of denying Food Stamp recipients things like soda pop and candy bars only bother me in principle - I do a pretty good job of focusing on healthier options. But every now and then I do like a treat.
I'm also one of those "childless cat ladies" who "want to make the rest of the country miserable, too". Sort of... none of my minions are legally or biologically my offspring and my apartment lease precludes pets.
Y'all know I'm aggressively nonpartisan (antipartisan?) because I got loved ones all over the political spectrum. I do avoid the fanatics. Same with religion.
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I recently learned that my antidepressant makes me less tolerant of heat. I figured it was just my age and weight getting to me. But no, the very medicine I credit with giving me the last 30 years and relative sanity is keeping me inside the air conditioning. Which aggravates my sinusitis. YAY another medical issue conflict.
When I fell a couple winters ago, the ER doc diagnosed arthritis in my knee. I suspect I have it in the other knee and my assorted old injuries. Self-diagnosed carpal tunnel and tennis elbow. Nothing horrible, honestly, just an assortment of aches and pains.
I eat reasonably well, but could stand to exercise more. In the words of my doctor, one of my diabetes medications "keeps the weight on". We tried changing it but I did not react well to the new option. I do walk when conditions permit and enjoy a stroll through the woods. Not a hike, a stroll.
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Social contact, even just with the cashier in a store, gives me some sense of mattering. I do exist! I stay active on Facebook, keep in touch with friends and family that way or via telephone. So I'm not isolated even if I feel that way sometimes. Like when outside conditions keep me inside my hidey-hole.
I think I will go ahead and post this. Even if it does look like "Boohoo feel sorry for me", maybe it will help someone out there. I know getting it off my chest has helped me.
