Defining Family

Several years ago, I was introduced to the world of genaeology by a distant cousin and then a co-worker.  I got a computer program for the information and hit on the brilliant idea of giving each of my siblings a copy of the family tree for Christmas!  All I had to do was enter our spouses, children, and grandchildren.  The paper and ink would be expensive, but the sentiment was worth it.  Then I posed myself the question "Who do I include?"

I have seven siblings, two parents, and a total of three step-parents.  The siblings each have at least one spouse and at least one child.  Some of them have ex-stepchildren that they still think of as their own. Feelings were going to be hurt even if  I figured out a  Definition of Family.  What I finally decided was if they had a legal or biological link to us, they were going into the family tree.  What I gave my siblings that Christmas was prefaced by a little speech (or a letter if it was mailed) explaining my Definition of Family for this purpose.  No, some "family members" were not there.  Others, like the the childless second wife of a brother, were at the very least mentioned in notes. 

My Definition has created some funny (both peculiar and ha-ha) branches.  My oldest brother has been married three times.  When he married wife #1, she already had a daughter.  After they divorced, she had another child in her next relationship.  My brother's third wife came with a son, who he legally adopted.  Then they adopted an unplanned baby from Wife #1!  Who needs soap operas?!  

Another brother married a woman with a daughter and had two sons with her.  They divorced, he remarried (this wife came with four kids), and the first wife later had another son.  One of my sisters legally adopted her own grandchild.  This is why I love the NOTES section!  


So, if my math is correct, I have two ex-step-nieces, one ex-step-niece's half brother, seven step-nephews and step-nieces, a biological great-niece who is legally my niece, one who is half brother to an ex-step-niece and two "real" nephews, AND twelve "real" nephew/nieces.  I just call them my minions.

And then there are my grand-minions....   You may feel free to run away screaming.