There's an old saying "Bring up your children in the way they should go and when they are grown they will not depart from it". This is true, to a point. That point is the crux of today's rant. Certainly, your child is more likely to hold the same basic values as you. They will probably agree with your religion, your politics, your opinion of the world around you. This is why we have to model the life we want our children to lead.
However! (You knew that was coming, right?) There comes a time when the children must chose their own path. We could argue all day about when that is, whether a certain age or a landmark event, but the time does come.
People are not pottery - a flaw in our clay is not permanent. And our parents are not the only potters turning that wheel. "It takes a village to raise a child" even in today's Mind-Your-Own-Business world. Had my parents been the only influence in my life, I'd have never developed many of my interests. I would not believe that people are inherently good (if a tad selfish). There were other potters at that wheel. The flaws any one potter put into my clay was either fixed or worsened by the others.
By elementary school, we've been taught stealing is wrong. By Junior High, we know that we're expected to show up for work (and going to school is your job at this point). By High School , we know what birth control is. By the time we are drinking age, society has shown us that booze affects our judgement. Even if our parents are drunken thieves with no job and sixteen children, we know these things.
Bring up your child in the path you'd like him to follow, lead by example, and when he is grown... Hold him responsible if he does something bad or stupid. He isn't an urn. He's a human being, capable of working around the flaws if not of repairing them.
No comments:
Post a Comment