Most of my routine has remained the same during the pandemic. The biggest difference is that The Boy isn't coming over to torture my dolls and kill me 78 times in half an hour (Call of Duty). I don't normally go out. I do most of my socializing on-line.
A lot of my friends are working from home. They're spending the entire day in their jammies and, frankly, I'm jealous. It's not that I want to binge watch my show in my nightshirt, it's that I wish I could trust myself to do so. For me, it could indicate a depressive episode.
My first thought is of a reformed alcoholic at a party, watching the others enjoy something he simply can't trust himself to do. He knows that even stepping foot on that proverbial path is a very bad idea. It's not a perfect analogy, but I think it's pretty close. Addiction is a mental illness, after all.
I'm not sharing this to make y'all feel bad. The thought just struck me when I was in a philosophic mood. How many of my indulgences are something that others can't allow for themselves? Anyway, everyone, stay safe as possible. Make the best of things. We'll get through this and maybe we'll be better for it.
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Sunday, March 15, 2020
Coronavirus
Even though I totally support closing down the schools and canceling large gatherings, I feel the need to get up on my little soapbox about the levels of stupidity and greed I've seen. I usually have faith in the human race but y'all are really testing me with the pandemic.
1) Educate yourselves. What the food and health care industries call "universal procedures" is usually sufficient to keep any virus at bay. Wash your hands often. Keep surfaces sanitary. Try not to touch your face - which is the hardest part in my opinion! Viruses spread easily in large crowds - thus, the cancellations I mentioned earlier. Learn the specific symptoms of COVID-19 so you don't panic at the sight of me sneezing. (I have a head cold.)
2) The store shelves are looking like something from TWD. By all means, stock up on what you and yours will need for a few weeks if quarantine becomes necessary. No one needs the entire paper products aisle. No one needs enough disinfectant to fill a swimming pool. Quarantine is not required unless you are infected, anyway. Stocking up is a precaution.
3) DON'T BE GREEDY. Taking advantage of others is bad enough when there isn't a crisis! I'm not a violent woman, but if someone offers to sell me a five dollar roll of toilet paper out of their van, I just might end up arrested for assault. They'll be lucky if all they get is the sharp side of my tongue. I have no sympathy for all of those "businessmen" who got "screwed over" when Amazon and eBay blocked the sale of those items.
4) Stop with the conspiracy theories. Nobody created COVID-19 in an attempt to overthrow any goverment. It's a new mutation of a viral strand that's always been around. Viruses mutate - that's why they are so hard to eradicate. Is it possible we're being manipulated into panic mode with malice intent? Of course it is. You know what keeps us from being manipulated? See point 1.
5) The golden rule applies, even more so in a crisis situation, and a pandemic is a crisis situation. Be good to one another. Share. I don't have much to spare, but what I do have is free if you need it. Even when there's not a pandemic on.
1) Educate yourselves. What the food and health care industries call "universal procedures" is usually sufficient to keep any virus at bay. Wash your hands often. Keep surfaces sanitary. Try not to touch your face - which is the hardest part in my opinion! Viruses spread easily in large crowds - thus, the cancellations I mentioned earlier. Learn the specific symptoms of COVID-19 so you don't panic at the sight of me sneezing. (I have a head cold.)
2) The store shelves are looking like something from TWD. By all means, stock up on what you and yours will need for a few weeks if quarantine becomes necessary. No one needs the entire paper products aisle. No one needs enough disinfectant to fill a swimming pool. Quarantine is not required unless you are infected, anyway. Stocking up is a precaution.
3) DON'T BE GREEDY. Taking advantage of others is bad enough when there isn't a crisis! I'm not a violent woman, but if someone offers to sell me a five dollar roll of toilet paper out of their van, I just might end up arrested for assault. They'll be lucky if all they get is the sharp side of my tongue. I have no sympathy for all of those "businessmen" who got "screwed over" when Amazon and eBay blocked the sale of those items.
4) Stop with the conspiracy theories. Nobody created COVID-19 in an attempt to overthrow any goverment. It's a new mutation of a viral strand that's always been around. Viruses mutate - that's why they are so hard to eradicate. Is it possible we're being manipulated into panic mode with malice intent? Of course it is. You know what keeps us from being manipulated? See point 1.
5) The golden rule applies, even more so in a crisis situation, and a pandemic is a crisis situation. Be good to one another. Share. I don't have much to spare, but what I do have is free if you need it. Even when there's not a pandemic on.
Tuesday, February 11, 2020
Marginalized
Mayor Pete (one of the fellows running for president) said that being gay helps him to understand what black folks go through. I'm not gonna weigh in on him, his policies, or any of that. I just want to talk about this specific error in his thinking.
Yes, being marginalized will give you some idea of what others experience. I've spend my whole life on and off Welfare and now I'm on SSDI. So I understand about people judging and about getting the stink-eye. But I can't really understand being black because - simple fact - I'm white. Each marginalized group has their own struggles.
I understand what it's like to have a store detective follow me around, but not because of my skin color. I've gotten snide comments for my choice of partner, but not because it was another gal. A person of color who has been fortunate enough to have never drawn benefits isn't going to understand the shame of whipping out that Food Stamp card.
Mayor Pete wasn't lying. Being marginalized, in any manner, does help us to understand each other. To a point. He's a rich white boy, so obviously he's not going to get what the poor, the people of color, or the women specifically deal with. That doesn't make him evil. It doesn't make any of us evil. Just human. And that's okay.
Yes, being marginalized will give you some idea of what others experience. I've spend my whole life on and off Welfare and now I'm on SSDI. So I understand about people judging and about getting the stink-eye. But I can't really understand being black because - simple fact - I'm white. Each marginalized group has their own struggles.
I understand what it's like to have a store detective follow me around, but not because of my skin color. I've gotten snide comments for my choice of partner, but not because it was another gal. A person of color who has been fortunate enough to have never drawn benefits isn't going to understand the shame of whipping out that Food Stamp card.
Mayor Pete wasn't lying. Being marginalized, in any manner, does help us to understand each other. To a point. He's a rich white boy, so obviously he's not going to get what the poor, the people of color, or the women specifically deal with. That doesn't make him evil. It doesn't make any of us evil. Just human. And that's okay.
Thursday, February 6, 2020
OK, Boomer
I just had a long conversation about politics with a teenager. I'm either late Boomer or early GenX, depending on who you ask. He's Gen Z (Post-Millennial). According to the labels, we should be at each other's throats. We were not. This will blow the collective mind of those who allow labels to divide us.
This applies to all the labels, be it "Liberal" or "Female" or "Catholic" or "Gay". But for the sake of being concise, I will focus on the generation gap. "Respect your elders" has become "OK Boomer". "From the mouths of babes" has become "Damn millennial". And it disgusts me.
Their world is quite different from mine, and from what the world was when I was their age. That does create differences. But I stand by my assertion that there are more similarities than differences in all of us. They have friends and family, as do I. They have the same bodily functions. They have hearts and minds, most of them good ones.
The tendency to allow differences to divide us isn't new. I think it's fair to blame most of history's wars on it. The axiom about not mentioning religion or politics in social situations is rooted in it. We can't, as so many people do, blame it on anything more recent than the saber-toothed tiger. Blame isn't really the issue, anyway. The issue is us. Our behavior.
The conversation that led to this blog is a good example. The Boy expressed the opinion that a certain celebrity would be a viable candidate for the presidency. I said I think he's not because he's not a natural born US citizen. The Boy thought he was. Instead of calling each other names, we researched it. When we discovered I was correct, we discussed how the man could become a viable candidate, which gave me a chance to educate a bit. I wasn't familiar with the guy, and The Boy educated me a bit. Neither of us dismissed the opinion of the other. Neither of us called the other names.
The generation gap is our fault, people. We don't respect them but expect them to respect us and respect is a two-way street. Labeling one another is fine, it helps keep our mental files in order, but there are limits. We're all human, with all the things that make us so, and we're all carrying around a myriad of labels. If you don't want to be dismissed for one of your labels, don't dismiss others for theirs.
This applies to all the labels, be it "Liberal" or "Female" or "Catholic" or "Gay". But for the sake of being concise, I will focus on the generation gap. "Respect your elders" has become "OK Boomer". "From the mouths of babes" has become "Damn millennial". And it disgusts me.
Their world is quite different from mine, and from what the world was when I was their age. That does create differences. But I stand by my assertion that there are more similarities than differences in all of us. They have friends and family, as do I. They have the same bodily functions. They have hearts and minds, most of them good ones.
The tendency to allow differences to divide us isn't new. I think it's fair to blame most of history's wars on it. The axiom about not mentioning religion or politics in social situations is rooted in it. We can't, as so many people do, blame it on anything more recent than the saber-toothed tiger. Blame isn't really the issue, anyway. The issue is us. Our behavior.
The conversation that led to this blog is a good example. The Boy expressed the opinion that a certain celebrity would be a viable candidate for the presidency. I said I think he's not because he's not a natural born US citizen. The Boy thought he was. Instead of calling each other names, we researched it. When we discovered I was correct, we discussed how the man could become a viable candidate, which gave me a chance to educate a bit. I wasn't familiar with the guy, and The Boy educated me a bit. Neither of us dismissed the opinion of the other. Neither of us called the other names.
The generation gap is our fault, people. We don't respect them but expect them to respect us and respect is a two-way street. Labeling one another is fine, it helps keep our mental files in order, but there are limits. We're all human, with all the things that make us so, and we're all carrying around a myriad of labels. If you don't want to be dismissed for one of your labels, don't dismiss others for theirs.
Saturday, January 4, 2020
Democrats, Republicans, and Russians
POTUS cheats on his wife? Goes to war? Eats his pizza with a fork? Wears a tan suit? If he's a member of their party, they defend him. If he isn't, it's impeachment time. To the child I was, and the woman I am now, that's... just stupid.
When I reached voting age, I made it a point to learn as much as I could about the candidates. Did they share my views on the issues of the day? How did their personal habits bear on the performance of their duties? Did they have the courage to disagree with The Party Line? Did they run smear campaigns? How did they speak to voters one-on-one?
2016. The Russians meddled in our Presidential Election. Both major parties believe the other was behind it and/or in on it. Here's what I believe: The Russians acted alone, to undercut the groundswell of support maverick candidates were receiving. Do I have evidence to support this theory? No more or less than either party has on the other.
Two of the most popular candidates in that election were mavericks. Independent Bernie Sanders and Libertarian Gary Johnson. For the first time in my life, there was a very real chance we would have a sitting POTUS who was not from the Big Two. The DNC played Bernie for a fool - come join our party, agree not to run if you aren't our guy, and then they nominate Clinton. Democrats - not the hard-liners, but Democrats nonetheless - started questioning things. And Johnson was still out there, drumming up support. The Two-Party System (something the Founding Fathers were very against, by the way) was in danger of being disrupted if not outright destroyed.
Well, my theory is that Russia didn't like that. They stepped in, threw gasoline on the smoldering partisan embers I'd grown up with, and here we are. They had at least two factions pouring propaganda on us - "Trump is great/Clinton is evil" and "Clinton is great/Trump is evil". They wisely ignored Johnson and the other Third Parties - no real threat if they properly manipulated us. We'd either forget about them or continue to believe those parties were a joke.
Despite their best efforts, Gary Johnson did get enough votes to lift his party to Major Party status. But they also accomplished what they set out to do. We've had riots fueled by partisan concerns. Partisans sound like bad defense lawyers: "Yes, my client killed some people. But Ted Bundy killed lots more!" Political Polarization is at an all time high and, frankly, I'm scared. I'm more afraid of a partisan American than I am of ISIS.
Here's where I go total conspiracy theorist on you. "XXX colluded with the Russians." "A third party vote is a wasted vote." "XXX is the Anti-Christ." "XXX was sent by God." "The system is fixed, so don't bother voting." THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK.
Well, that last one is partly true. The system is fixed, but only because we believe all that other stuff instead of thinking for ourselves. Russia wanted a schism in America and made one. I'm just really disappointed in my fellow Americans because they let it happen. And still are.
When I reached voting age, I made it a point to learn as much as I could about the candidates. Did they share my views on the issues of the day? How did their personal habits bear on the performance of their duties? Did they have the courage to disagree with The Party Line? Did they run smear campaigns? How did they speak to voters one-on-one?
2016. The Russians meddled in our Presidential Election. Both major parties believe the other was behind it and/or in on it. Here's what I believe: The Russians acted alone, to undercut the groundswell of support maverick candidates were receiving. Do I have evidence to support this theory? No more or less than either party has on the other.
Two of the most popular candidates in that election were mavericks. Independent Bernie Sanders and Libertarian Gary Johnson. For the first time in my life, there was a very real chance we would have a sitting POTUS who was not from the Big Two. The DNC played Bernie for a fool - come join our party, agree not to run if you aren't our guy, and then they nominate Clinton. Democrats - not the hard-liners, but Democrats nonetheless - started questioning things. And Johnson was still out there, drumming up support. The Two-Party System (something the Founding Fathers were very against, by the way) was in danger of being disrupted if not outright destroyed.
Well, my theory is that Russia didn't like that. They stepped in, threw gasoline on the smoldering partisan embers I'd grown up with, and here we are. They had at least two factions pouring propaganda on us - "Trump is great/Clinton is evil" and "Clinton is great/Trump is evil". They wisely ignored Johnson and the other Third Parties - no real threat if they properly manipulated us. We'd either forget about them or continue to believe those parties were a joke.
Despite their best efforts, Gary Johnson did get enough votes to lift his party to Major Party status. But they also accomplished what they set out to do. We've had riots fueled by partisan concerns. Partisans sound like bad defense lawyers: "Yes, my client killed some people. But Ted Bundy killed lots more!" Political Polarization is at an all time high and, frankly, I'm scared. I'm more afraid of a partisan American than I am of ISIS.
Here's where I go total conspiracy theorist on you. "XXX colluded with the Russians." "A third party vote is a wasted vote." "XXX is the Anti-Christ." "XXX was sent by God." "The system is fixed, so don't bother voting." THAT IS WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK.
Well, that last one is partly true. The system is fixed, but only because we believe all that other stuff instead of thinking for ourselves. Russia wanted a schism in America and made one. I'm just really disappointed in my fellow Americans because they let it happen. And still are.
Thursday, January 2, 2020
Muffling The Demon
I considered "Silencing The Demon" as a title for this blog, but let's be honest. She's never silent, even when I'm at my happiest! I just had a really lovely holiday season and all she wants to talk about is the things I didn't get. Ingrate, that's what she is.
For anyone new to my blog, or my head space, I'll explain. Feel free to skip ahead if you already know about Sybrie The Tenth, aka The Demon. I suffer from a form of Clinical Depression, with a touch of anxiety and sprinkle of persecution complex. I use humor as one of my coping methods - humor that some may find offensive - and joke about having ten personalities. (A riff on the old toothpaste commercials "nine out of ten dentists".) Sybrie The Tenth is a demon locked in a cage in the back room of my brain. To use more professional terminology, I have personified my mental illness.
That said, I want to offer tips for anyone out there dealing with a demon of their own. Your demon need not be Depression for these to (maybe) help you. Feel free to modify my methods if they don't quite work for you - one size doesn't fit all in this case.
*********
1. Do what you enjoy. I struggled for years with my "inappropriate" interests - dolls and story telling, specifically. My doll play evolved into novels that will probably never see publication. (More on that in a bit.) I went through phases of trying to be a serious collector of said dolls, and even of giving them away en masse. What I didn't realize until I went to college in my late 20s is that Play Therapy is a very real thing, and not just for children. In a nutshell, the very things I felt shame for are probably what's kept me reasonably sane!
Most of my family doesn't read my silly Barbie blog with its photo stories. But that's okay. They get that it means a lot to me. They don't try to shame me... at least not seriously. I make the photo stories, I play with my dolls, for me. I've found a whole community on-line to play with!
I have a budget and my bills get paid. I can adult when I must. If I've taken food from any one's mouth to buy toys, it was my own. The only time we should feel shame for what makes us happy is if it hurts others. Don't let others dictate what you should and should not enjoy! Be the weirdo!
2. Limit toxins when possible. This includes, but is not limited to, humans. You are not required to associate with anyone who consistently treats you badly. People who love you can and will hurt you, but if all or most of your contact with any person is negative, remove them from your life as much as possible.
I have a phobia of crowds and therefore crowds count as a toxin here. When I choose to be in a crowd, I always scope out a quiet corner to slip into if I can't deal. This comes in very handy at things like family reunions. If nothing else, I go hide in a restroom stall for a few minutes!
3. Own your weakness. Despite what certain memes might tell you, mental illness is a weakness. Weakness is not something to be ashamed of! We all have weaknesses and we should accept that. Work with and around it. Admit it. "Why are you out on the deck in the cold?" "It got too crowded in there. I'll come back in a bit."
4. Talk to someone. They don't even have to understand. They just need to care - so don't do this with toxic people. They don't have to be a therapist. They don't have to be real, if all you need to do is vent.
5. Educate. Yourself and others. My top recommendation for this is Overcoming Depression by Demitri and Janice Papolos. They do use a lot of medical terminology, which may be off-putting, so consider yourself warned. Many of the tips in this blog are based on things from this book. The book also explains symptoms many don't realize are connected to the mental illness. I have what the book calls thought latency... basically, if the brain is a computer, mine lags.
6. Retrain Your Brain. AKA Cognitive Therapy. Question your negative thoughts. Suppose a woman calls me stupid. Is she joking? Does she have a poor vocabulary and meant some other word? How important is her opinion of me? Often, I internalize messages others didn't intend. I had to teach myself to look at the big picture.
7. It is okay. Like many, I wake up every morning depressed. I've learned to accept that it takes me a few minutes to "wake up slow" and be ready to face the world.
I put a lot into those previously mentioned novels. Research, mostly. There are badly researched books on the best seller lists that read like a third-grader wrote them. Getting a rejection letter from those publishers.... I can't even. People have advised me to self-publish, but I've caught a lot of flak during my research for writing about anyone who isn't a white heterosexual female! I'm not sure if I could handle Amazon reviews of that nature. I'm not a social creature (I probably have less than 100 Facebook friends, including extended family) and the self-promotion needed for self-publishing is not something I am comfortable with. So I've not done more than dabble with the idea. For the most part, I've accepted that those worlds I created will probably never see mass production. I've learned to write for me.
**********
So many aspects of my life are better since I learned to do these things. She's still in there, rattling her cage and telling me lies, but she's not the boss of me. Not any more.
For anyone new to my blog, or my head space, I'll explain. Feel free to skip ahead if you already know about Sybrie The Tenth, aka The Demon. I suffer from a form of Clinical Depression, with a touch of anxiety and sprinkle of persecution complex. I use humor as one of my coping methods - humor that some may find offensive - and joke about having ten personalities. (A riff on the old toothpaste commercials "nine out of ten dentists".) Sybrie The Tenth is a demon locked in a cage in the back room of my brain. To use more professional terminology, I have personified my mental illness.
That said, I want to offer tips for anyone out there dealing with a demon of their own. Your demon need not be Depression for these to (maybe) help you. Feel free to modify my methods if they don't quite work for you - one size doesn't fit all in this case.
*********
1. Do what you enjoy. I struggled for years with my "inappropriate" interests - dolls and story telling, specifically. My doll play evolved into novels that will probably never see publication. (More on that in a bit.) I went through phases of trying to be a serious collector of said dolls, and even of giving them away en masse. What I didn't realize until I went to college in my late 20s is that Play Therapy is a very real thing, and not just for children. In a nutshell, the very things I felt shame for are probably what's kept me reasonably sane!
Most of my family doesn't read my silly Barbie blog with its photo stories. But that's okay. They get that it means a lot to me. They don't try to shame me... at least not seriously. I make the photo stories, I play with my dolls, for me. I've found a whole community on-line to play with!
I have a budget and my bills get paid. I can adult when I must. If I've taken food from any one's mouth to buy toys, it was my own. The only time we should feel shame for what makes us happy is if it hurts others. Don't let others dictate what you should and should not enjoy! Be the weirdo!
2. Limit toxins when possible. This includes, but is not limited to, humans. You are not required to associate with anyone who consistently treats you badly. People who love you can and will hurt you, but if all or most of your contact with any person is negative, remove them from your life as much as possible.
I have a phobia of crowds and therefore crowds count as a toxin here. When I choose to be in a crowd, I always scope out a quiet corner to slip into if I can't deal. This comes in very handy at things like family reunions. If nothing else, I go hide in a restroom stall for a few minutes!
3. Own your weakness. Despite what certain memes might tell you, mental illness is a weakness. Weakness is not something to be ashamed of! We all have weaknesses and we should accept that. Work with and around it. Admit it. "Why are you out on the deck in the cold?" "It got too crowded in there. I'll come back in a bit."
4. Talk to someone. They don't even have to understand. They just need to care - so don't do this with toxic people. They don't have to be a therapist. They don't have to be real, if all you need to do is vent.
5. Educate. Yourself and others. My top recommendation for this is Overcoming Depression by Demitri and Janice Papolos. They do use a lot of medical terminology, which may be off-putting, so consider yourself warned. Many of the tips in this blog are based on things from this book. The book also explains symptoms many don't realize are connected to the mental illness. I have what the book calls thought latency... basically, if the brain is a computer, mine lags.
6. Retrain Your Brain. AKA Cognitive Therapy. Question your negative thoughts. Suppose a woman calls me stupid. Is she joking? Does she have a poor vocabulary and meant some other word? How important is her opinion of me? Often, I internalize messages others didn't intend. I had to teach myself to look at the big picture.
7. It is okay. Like many, I wake up every morning depressed. I've learned to accept that it takes me a few minutes to "wake up slow" and be ready to face the world.
I put a lot into those previously mentioned novels. Research, mostly. There are badly researched books on the best seller lists that read like a third-grader wrote them. Getting a rejection letter from those publishers.... I can't even. People have advised me to self-publish, but I've caught a lot of flak during my research for writing about anyone who isn't a white heterosexual female! I'm not sure if I could handle Amazon reviews of that nature. I'm not a social creature (I probably have less than 100 Facebook friends, including extended family) and the self-promotion needed for self-publishing is not something I am comfortable with. So I've not done more than dabble with the idea. For the most part, I've accepted that those worlds I created will probably never see mass production. I've learned to write for me.
**********
So many aspects of my life are better since I learned to do these things. She's still in there, rattling her cage and telling me lies, but she's not the boss of me. Not any more.
Monday, December 9, 2019
Doing Christmas Right
Every year at this time, I see a lot of debate about the correct way to do the holiday season. Since I do Christmas, that's the one I have the most knowledge and experience with, but I believe a lot of these thoughts can apply to any holiday, at any time of the year.
When does the tree/decor go up? In my little world, this is after Thanksgiving. That weekend is full of activities with the larger family and in the spaces between them, my apartment gets decorated. I don't get upset at others for decorating earlier or later because they aren't hurting anyone. (I do think they're silly, but silly is harmless fun.) They have their reasons, and it's none of my beeswax.
When does the tree/decor come down? One of my sisters is Catholic and her decor stays up until Epiphany - also known as Twelfth Night or The Twelfth Day of Christmas. Her son takes his tree down (quite methodically, I might add) on the evening of the day itself. The rest of the extended family does it at their leisure, me included. My decor does stay up until after the new year begins, but beyond that, who knows?
How much decor to use? Some are minimalist. Others have front lawns that rival professional displays. Some do strict themes and others just embrace utter chaos. Again, it's a matter of taste. Again, it's harmless fun. Don't stress out over what other people do. Just have a giggle if you think they're silly, let them have a giggle at you, and move along.
What is the proper procedure for opening the gifts? This one is a bit trickier, since so many of us do gift exchanges in the homes of others. It boils down to one question: Who owns/rents the home you are in? THAT PERSON SETS THE RULES. If in your home the proper method is utter chaos, fine. If the gifts have to be opened alphabetically by height, fine. But if you are at Uncle Bob's, you follow Uncle Bob's rules. This is the exception to the taste/fun/beeswax rule.
For my sister, Christmas is a holy day. For me, it's a wonderful way to love and be loved. What works for me may not work for her. We spend the day together. We compromise. Because in the end, it's each other that matters. That is doing Christmas right.
When does the tree/decor go up? In my little world, this is after Thanksgiving. That weekend is full of activities with the larger family and in the spaces between them, my apartment gets decorated. I don't get upset at others for decorating earlier or later because they aren't hurting anyone. (I do think they're silly, but silly is harmless fun.) They have their reasons, and it's none of my beeswax.
When does the tree/decor come down? One of my sisters is Catholic and her decor stays up until Epiphany - also known as Twelfth Night or The Twelfth Day of Christmas. Her son takes his tree down (quite methodically, I might add) on the evening of the day itself. The rest of the extended family does it at their leisure, me included. My decor does stay up until after the new year begins, but beyond that, who knows?
How much decor to use? Some are minimalist. Others have front lawns that rival professional displays. Some do strict themes and others just embrace utter chaos. Again, it's a matter of taste. Again, it's harmless fun. Don't stress out over what other people do. Just have a giggle if you think they're silly, let them have a giggle at you, and move along.
What is the proper procedure for opening the gifts? This one is a bit trickier, since so many of us do gift exchanges in the homes of others. It boils down to one question: Who owns/rents the home you are in? THAT PERSON SETS THE RULES. If in your home the proper method is utter chaos, fine. If the gifts have to be opened alphabetically by height, fine. But if you are at Uncle Bob's, you follow Uncle Bob's rules. This is the exception to the taste/fun/beeswax rule.
For my sister, Christmas is a holy day. For me, it's a wonderful way to love and be loved. What works for me may not work for her. We spend the day together. We compromise. Because in the end, it's each other that matters. That is doing Christmas right.
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