Psychology tells us that humans respond better to praise than to criticism. So why have I been told, more than once, that I shouldn't expect thanks for doing what I'm supposed to do?
Some of it is our human predilection to take things and people for granted. It's easy to forget how much work our loved ones put into their chores, their commitments, and to assume they know we appreciate it. It's easy for us to forget we appreciate it!
We praise our little ones for picking up after themselves, but stop at some point because now they know what to do. We thank people for going out of their way for us, but not for the day-to-day stuff. When was the last time a member of your household was thanked for doing dishes or taking out the trash?
If you pick up litter day after day and no one steps in to help, no one says thanks, and maybe even they toss trash around willy-nilly because they know you'll pick it up.. you get tired of it. You become discouraged. You stop doing it. Imagine how long you could go on with positive reinforcement.
How much employment burnout would we relieve? How much teen rebellion is based on the notion that we only notice them when they misbehave? For that matter, how many suicides could be prevented?
Should we praise positive behaviors as well as (or even instead of) punishing negative ones? Maybe we should.
Maybe we should.
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