I've blogged before about flags. To sum up, it is a symbol and symbols can mean very different things to those viewing them. This time the symbol in the news is a song - The National Anthem - but the basic argument remains the same.
NFL players are choosing not to stand for the National Anthem. As I understand it, they are protesting racism. Some are simply showing solidarity with their team mates, for the freedom to choose not to stand. I think they are wrong but I also know they have this thing called Freedom of Expression. And I'm appalled by the hypocrites being appalled.
How many of these people yelling about this are, even as it happens, plopped in a recliner? How many didn't bat an eye when Tom Brady hocked a giant loogie during a Moment of Silence for murdered children? How many sit on the curb when the flag passes during a parade, usually carried by combat veterans?
Then there's the question of forced compliance. That in itself is a violation of the US Constitution, which is based upon freedom. We have the right to disrespect the Sacred Symbols of others - note the cartoonists being defended when they draw Mohammed. These freedoms apply to everyone.
To me, these symbols are not about what we are - they are about what we should be, what we want to be, the ideals which we repeatedly fall short of. But we keep trying and that is what I stand up for. If I stand - and honestly, sometimes I don't. There are a variety of reasons, but I have that right. I'll thank you to respect it. As I respect yours.
Friday, October 21, 2016
Thursday, October 6, 2016
Little Plastic People - Part 3
Been looking at Barbie blogs. There's a lot of them where folks have like whole communities of dolls and stage soap operas. I really like the one called "How To Play With Barbies". It's by a lady who has taken my philosophy of using the dolls as teaching tools way beyond what I do. For example, in my Barbie World, if a kid wants to make Kira be married to Candy, I'm okay with it. Well, this lady has a doll of a lesbian celebrity - and a doll of the real-life wife. She made the wife doll. MADE it! She used a doll of Mimi from The Drew Carey show to teach her daughter not to hate on fat people. She seeks out dolls she can use for lessons.
I try not to have hard-and-fast rules about doll play. I think it stifles creativity. Right now, I'm making an album on my Facebook that's 2016 Barbie Scenarios and I have established for that a dollhouse family and some roles for others. But that probably won't be permanent, considering I'm eyeing the teen son for my next purge. Also because, like I said, I try to avoid hard and fast rules.
My Barbie population now stands at 17 females, 10 males, and four animals. I divide them into age groups by not just body molds, but faces as well. A few of them are ambiguous - Mary could be a tall early teen or a late teen. Sulu, Four, and Finnick are late teens or adults. Skipper falls somewhere between the young teens and child. Most of the adult females can also serve as late teens, but some of the faces firmly place them in one group or the other.
My minions have many stories of doll play at Jeanie's. I've pontificated in the past about gender roles, so I'll spare you most of that. Suffice to say that, to the best of my knowledge, none of my male minions has been gay. There is a very real difference in how the boys play... usually someone ends in with a head in the oven or toilet...
I try not to have hard-and-fast rules about doll play. I think it stifles creativity. Right now, I'm making an album on my Facebook that's 2016 Barbie Scenarios and I have established for that a dollhouse family and some roles for others. But that probably won't be permanent, considering I'm eyeing the teen son for my next purge. Also because, like I said, I try to avoid hard and fast rules.
My Barbie population now stands at 17 females, 10 males, and four animals. I divide them into age groups by not just body molds, but faces as well. A few of them are ambiguous - Mary could be a tall early teen or a late teen. Sulu, Four, and Finnick are late teens or adults. Skipper falls somewhere between the young teens and child. Most of the adult females can also serve as late teens, but some of the faces firmly place them in one group or the other.
My minions have many stories of doll play at Jeanie's. I've pontificated in the past about gender roles, so I'll spare you most of that. Suffice to say that, to the best of my knowledge, none of my male minions has been gay. There is a very real difference in how the boys play... usually someone ends in with a head in the oven or toilet...
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Meg Mysteries by Holly Beth Walker
The Meg books are a series of young female detective stories, along the lines of Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden. I couldn't identify with the rich, almost grown Nancy. Trixie and the Dana Sisters were better, but I absolutely LOVED Meg Duncan. I'm now fifty years old and still own and read these books - my other teen detectives are long gone.
The main character in these is younger than in the others, probably not technically a teen. I think the books were written for the slightly younger set, as they're thinner and less complex. I could read the entire series of six in a sitting, if I were so inclined.
Meg is an only child, who lives with her widowed father and a pair of elderly (or middle-aged, depending on the book) not-quite-servants. The wife is the housekeeper and the husband caretaker of the property. Meg's dad seems to be a workaholic. She also has a Siamese cat, which might explain my own preference for the breed. She has a backstory that includes an early childhood in Japan and a wealthy bachelor uncle.
Her sidekick is Kerry - who lives next door with her six siblings, many pets, and parents. Much is made of her tomboy ways as compared to Meg's preference for painting and ballet. Horses are a big part of Kerry's life, a wise choice on the author's part, given the audience. It also solves the problem of having non-driver lead characters.
Anyway. I'm not sure why I love these books so much. I sometimes think I'd like to pick up where Holly Beth Walker left off. Lots of people have never even heard of them, but they keep calling me back like Nancy Drew or Trixie Belden never did.
The main character in these is younger than in the others, probably not technically a teen. I think the books were written for the slightly younger set, as they're thinner and less complex. I could read the entire series of six in a sitting, if I were so inclined.
Meg is an only child, who lives with her widowed father and a pair of elderly (or middle-aged, depending on the book) not-quite-servants. The wife is the housekeeper and the husband caretaker of the property. Meg's dad seems to be a workaholic. She also has a Siamese cat, which might explain my own preference for the breed. She has a backstory that includes an early childhood in Japan and a wealthy bachelor uncle.
Her sidekick is Kerry - who lives next door with her six siblings, many pets, and parents. Much is made of her tomboy ways as compared to Meg's preference for painting and ballet. Horses are a big part of Kerry's life, a wise choice on the author's part, given the audience. It also solves the problem of having non-driver lead characters.
Anyway. I'm not sure why I love these books so much. I sometimes think I'd like to pick up where Holly Beth Walker left off. Lots of people have never even heard of them, but they keep calling me back like Nancy Drew or Trixie Belden never did.
Saturday, August 27, 2016
Bullying, Again
I pontificated before about the bullying problem and what I think should be done about it. This one is for the kids. Not the victims, not the bullies. The other kids. The ones who aren't sure what to do or how to do it. The ones who will say "I didn't do anything to him."
I'm speaking from my own experience as a bullied junior high schooler. Strange as it may seem, one of the kindest things a classmate ever did for me was a note. It said "Please don't tell anyone because I don't want to be picked on, too. I like you. I think you are nice." With her signature. I've never forgotten that. That girl reached out to me the only way she felt she could.
A couple of other girls reached out, too, They gave me a makeover during Study Hall. Maybe it was just that I was the only one who would let them, I really don't know. When they finished and held up the mirror, I expected to look ridiculous. I thought the whole thing was a set up, a means to humiliate me, but it wasn't. They even offered to give me some of their make-up that they didn't want anymore. (I suspect knowledge of my family's poverty had more to do with it, but they wanted to protect my pride.) One girl offered me clothes she didn't wear any more. I declined the offers - I just knew it was a trap. When I wore the offered cosmetics and clothing, they would make sure they entire school knew I was a rag picker.
Why did I feel that way? When the teacher left the music classroom and the bullies pushed me into a corner, going through my purse and making fun of the contents, or just making fun of the purse itself... No one spoke up. A couple dozen kids let them do it. To me, that said I deserved it. That said we hate you just as much as those guys do. That said I was loathed by the entire student body.
My period as the victim was only a year or two, but at the time it was forever. All those kids who I know now did not hate me... I just want to apologize to every one of them. I want to tell them I understand why they didn't act. But at the time, their loathing of me was a fact.
So, boys and girls, the next time you see a classmate being pushed around, realize how your silence is perceived. Realize that, in their eyes, you are either cheering the bullies on or - maybe worse - you don't care either way. Even if you don't have the courage to confront the bully on their behalf (the best course), the least you can do is a kind word when no one is looking.
Why didn't I stand up for myself? No one else stood up for me, at a time in my life when the opinions of your peers is crucial, so maybe I thought I deserved it. (Well, I did eventually stand up for myself. I like to think the small kindnesses mentioned above helped me to do so.) Why didn't I just stop being *insert adjective*? It's easy to blame the victim, maybe even part of human nature, so don't beat yourself up too much if you've done it. A lot of the things kids get bullied over are beyond their control. I couldn't make my mother get off Welfare, I wasn't allowed to do "normal" things, and I sure couldn't stop doing things I didn't know were "wrong".
So, you other kids, I give you life from the perspective of at least one bullying victim. It's not enough to not bully. It's not enough to feel sorry for them. You have to act, even if all you do is plead with them not to blab the fact that they don't hate you.
I'm speaking from my own experience as a bullied junior high schooler. Strange as it may seem, one of the kindest things a classmate ever did for me was a note. It said "Please don't tell anyone because I don't want to be picked on, too. I like you. I think you are nice." With her signature. I've never forgotten that. That girl reached out to me the only way she felt she could.
A couple of other girls reached out, too, They gave me a makeover during Study Hall. Maybe it was just that I was the only one who would let them, I really don't know. When they finished and held up the mirror, I expected to look ridiculous. I thought the whole thing was a set up, a means to humiliate me, but it wasn't. They even offered to give me some of their make-up that they didn't want anymore. (I suspect knowledge of my family's poverty had more to do with it, but they wanted to protect my pride.) One girl offered me clothes she didn't wear any more. I declined the offers - I just knew it was a trap. When I wore the offered cosmetics and clothing, they would make sure they entire school knew I was a rag picker.
Why did I feel that way? When the teacher left the music classroom and the bullies pushed me into a corner, going through my purse and making fun of the contents, or just making fun of the purse itself... No one spoke up. A couple dozen kids let them do it. To me, that said I deserved it. That said we hate you just as much as those guys do. That said I was loathed by the entire student body.
My period as the victim was only a year or two, but at the time it was forever. All those kids who I know now did not hate me... I just want to apologize to every one of them. I want to tell them I understand why they didn't act. But at the time, their loathing of me was a fact.
So, boys and girls, the next time you see a classmate being pushed around, realize how your silence is perceived. Realize that, in their eyes, you are either cheering the bullies on or - maybe worse - you don't care either way. Even if you don't have the courage to confront the bully on their behalf (the best course), the least you can do is a kind word when no one is looking.
Why didn't I stand up for myself? No one else stood up for me, at a time in my life when the opinions of your peers is crucial, so maybe I thought I deserved it. (Well, I did eventually stand up for myself. I like to think the small kindnesses mentioned above helped me to do so.) Why didn't I just stop being *insert adjective*? It's easy to blame the victim, maybe even part of human nature, so don't beat yourself up too much if you've done it. A lot of the things kids get bullied over are beyond their control. I couldn't make my mother get off Welfare, I wasn't allowed to do "normal" things, and I sure couldn't stop doing things I didn't know were "wrong".
So, you other kids, I give you life from the perspective of at least one bullying victim. It's not enough to not bully. It's not enough to feel sorry for them. You have to act, even if all you do is plead with them not to blab the fact that they don't hate you.
Monday, August 8, 2016
Shipping
For those among my hordes of readers who are unfamiliar with the terminology: Fandom = the group of people who are fans of something (IE Trekkies/Trekkers are the Star Trek fandom) Shipping = wanting/hoping/wishing a couple are or will be a couple. (IE Some folks ship Spock and Kirk)
Now to my rant. I shipped Hermione and Viktor. I really didn't want her to end up with Ron or Harry. I liked the platonic three-way they had going on. Rowling, however, had other plans (obviously). She arranged for them to end up family. I'm bummed, but I get it, both as a fan (the canon relationships suit them) and as a writer (sometimes them characters just do what they want). I can imagine an alternate Harry Potter universe wherein my vision came to pass, but I should also accept that in the "real" world, Hermione married Ron.
I saw a comment tonight on Facebook that - well, I'll paraphrase and use my own example. "I loathe Ron with Hermione. They make no sense as a couple. Hermione belongs with Viktor." Except this person didn't even name a canon character - "Hermione belongs with" a character... from the comment writer's fan fiction...
This goes way beyond playing "what if" and completely leaves the fandom in my opinion. I did not ship Mulder and Scully. I did not ship Xena and Gabrielle. I did not ship Kaylee and Simon. But guess what? The creators of the universes in which those characters live put a lot of thought and work into making those relationships real to fans.
I imagine, if my own stories were ever part of pop culture, how I would feel in this situation. Did I fail to make it real to my readers? Of course, I'd have to laugh at the idea of my using someone else's fan fiction character - not even sure how that's supposed to happen. How can you even call yourself a fan of mine if you hate what I've done?
Now to my rant. I shipped Hermione and Viktor. I really didn't want her to end up with Ron or Harry. I liked the platonic three-way they had going on. Rowling, however, had other plans (obviously). She arranged for them to end up family. I'm bummed, but I get it, both as a fan (the canon relationships suit them) and as a writer (sometimes them characters just do what they want). I can imagine an alternate Harry Potter universe wherein my vision came to pass, but I should also accept that in the "real" world, Hermione married Ron.
I saw a comment tonight on Facebook that - well, I'll paraphrase and use my own example. "I loathe Ron with Hermione. They make no sense as a couple. Hermione belongs with Viktor." Except this person didn't even name a canon character - "Hermione belongs with" a character... from the comment writer's fan fiction...
This goes way beyond playing "what if" and completely leaves the fandom in my opinion. I did not ship Mulder and Scully. I did not ship Xena and Gabrielle. I did not ship Kaylee and Simon. But guess what? The creators of the universes in which those characters live put a lot of thought and work into making those relationships real to fans.
I imagine, if my own stories were ever part of pop culture, how I would feel in this situation. Did I fail to make it real to my readers? Of course, I'd have to laugh at the idea of my using someone else's fan fiction character - not even sure how that's supposed to happen. How can you even call yourself a fan of mine if you hate what I've done?
Monday, July 4, 2016
Little Plastic People (part 2)
It's no secret that I like Barbie dolls. I've got a six foot dollhouse (made for American Girl size dolls), a zillion Barbies, A redheaded My Size named Rusty, and an 18 inch Pocahontas. What might surprise some folks is that I don't run around buying them willy-nilly. I do have standards.
I prefer jointed dolls, as they are more easily posed in my scenarios and easier to dress. My favorite man dolls are Sulu and Pike - Playmates dolls jointed much like a GI Joe. If I can't get joints, I want a natural looking pose. The doll should have bent elbows or, at the least, relaxed arms. Those perfectly straight stereotype-zombie arms? No, thank you. One of my dolls isn't jointed at all, but the molding of her arms and legs and even the unusual body mold give her a sassy attitude. The blue hair and ornery expression help, too!
Unlike many Barbie Girls, I don't care for hair play - my last two purchases were short-haired, in fact. I go for unusual hair colors - many of mine have at the very least a streak of some odd color in their hair. The ones who don't definitely had some other feature I liked!
Facial expressions are important, too. Too many fashion dolls suffer from Vapid Face. Even if my doll doesn't look like a genius, it needs to have something going on. Barbies are meant to be a blank slate - at least that was what Ruth Handler had in mind when she invented them - but that's just a little too blank for me.
One bonus to having various sizes is that clothes almost always fit somebody. Even those ridiculously skinny Monster High clothes do - the less sexy ones make adorable dresses for Viv and Kelly (four inch toddlers).
I am not a collector. Collectors leave the poor things trapped in the boxes and I just can't do that - I've tried. I currently have Fred and Wilma Flintstone in boxes. They keep talking to me...
I prefer jointed dolls, as they are more easily posed in my scenarios and easier to dress. My favorite man dolls are Sulu and Pike - Playmates dolls jointed much like a GI Joe. If I can't get joints, I want a natural looking pose. The doll should have bent elbows or, at the least, relaxed arms. Those perfectly straight stereotype-zombie arms? No, thank you. One of my dolls isn't jointed at all, but the molding of her arms and legs and even the unusual body mold give her a sassy attitude. The blue hair and ornery expression help, too!
Unlike many Barbie Girls, I don't care for hair play - my last two purchases were short-haired, in fact. I go for unusual hair colors - many of mine have at the very least a streak of some odd color in their hair. The ones who don't definitely had some other feature I liked!
Facial expressions are important, too. Too many fashion dolls suffer from Vapid Face. Even if my doll doesn't look like a genius, it needs to have something going on. Barbies are meant to be a blank slate - at least that was what Ruth Handler had in mind when she invented them - but that's just a little too blank for me.
One bonus to having various sizes is that clothes almost always fit somebody. Even those ridiculously skinny Monster High clothes do - the less sexy ones make adorable dresses for Viv and Kelly (four inch toddlers).
I am not a collector. Collectors leave the poor things trapped in the boxes and I just can't do that - I've tried. I currently have Fred and Wilma Flintstone in boxes. They keep talking to me...
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Reaching 50
Well, today's my birthday. I'm 50. Lots of jokes about me being old. Which is funny, for a couple of reasons. First of all, there's the fact that I believe age is a matter of mind - if you don't mind, it don't matter! Anyone who knows me will vouch for my decidedly not-middle-age behavior. Sometimes I get scolded right along with the children.
The other, bigger, point is this: There was a time that my making it to 30 was questionable. I'd been hospitalized three times, once for an actual suicide attempt and the others as prevention. Suicide had been a frequent thought since my late teens. I'm a Prozac success story - the controversial anti-depressant has literally saved my life. It wasn't as simple as me popping a pill and everything was all better, though.
The Prozac only reins it in - I refer to "it" as The Demon or Sybrie The Tenth (more on that in a minute). Because it was reined in, I could research the problem, and those know me will appreciate just how bad it was that I couldn't do research. I've been in and out of counseling - my current LSW says I'm good to go without unless I have a crisis. I've learned and use coping methods.
I strongly recommend "Overcoming Depression" to anyone dealing with this problem - directly or indirectly. The authors are a married couple with a Greek surname. His is, I'm pretty sure, Demetri Papolous. It explains the biological and psychological causes and gives guidelines for living with and tracking the course of the illness. I wore out my first copy!
The coping methods work better for some individuals than for others, obviously. The ones I find work best for me are humor and what I call the Charlie Translator. Charlie was my dad, and he had a real problem with expressing himself - even praise sounded negative. So I trained myself to filter what people say and do through the Charlie Translator and then apply a heavy dose of Benefit of The Doubt.
Humor usually takes the form of hyperbole. Sometimes it seems like I'm seriously claiming to be crazier than I am, but remember that when I was diagnosed (and put on Prozac) that the mentally ill were scary to most people. I took that fear and mocked it, and the habit has remained. Sybrie the Tenth was born of this - I made a crack once about "nine out of ten of my personalities". It became a running joke, especially with my friend Sandy. That tenth personality is The Demon, or Number Ten. Sandy eventually combined "Sybil" and "Carrie" and we gave her the royal-sounding name Sybrie The Tenth. (I do not actually have multiples - and no mockery of those who do is intended.)
Some methods of coping can be quite annoying. If you know someone like this, be patient with them. They aren't hurting you, or anyone else, so let it go. This is how they keep their Sybrie in the cage. If they are hurting someone (including themselves) then they need to find a new method ASAP.
Anyway, thanks for reading. Nine out of ten of my personalities are enjoying being 50.
The other, bigger, point is this: There was a time that my making it to 30 was questionable. I'd been hospitalized three times, once for an actual suicide attempt and the others as prevention. Suicide had been a frequent thought since my late teens. I'm a Prozac success story - the controversial anti-depressant has literally saved my life. It wasn't as simple as me popping a pill and everything was all better, though.
The Prozac only reins it in - I refer to "it" as The Demon or Sybrie The Tenth (more on that in a minute). Because it was reined in, I could research the problem, and those know me will appreciate just how bad it was that I couldn't do research. I've been in and out of counseling - my current LSW says I'm good to go without unless I have a crisis. I've learned and use coping methods.
I strongly recommend "Overcoming Depression" to anyone dealing with this problem - directly or indirectly. The authors are a married couple with a Greek surname. His is, I'm pretty sure, Demetri Papolous. It explains the biological and psychological causes and gives guidelines for living with and tracking the course of the illness. I wore out my first copy!
The coping methods work better for some individuals than for others, obviously. The ones I find work best for me are humor and what I call the Charlie Translator. Charlie was my dad, and he had a real problem with expressing himself - even praise sounded negative. So I trained myself to filter what people say and do through the Charlie Translator and then apply a heavy dose of Benefit of The Doubt.
Humor usually takes the form of hyperbole. Sometimes it seems like I'm seriously claiming to be crazier than I am, but remember that when I was diagnosed (and put on Prozac) that the mentally ill were scary to most people. I took that fear and mocked it, and the habit has remained. Sybrie the Tenth was born of this - I made a crack once about "nine out of ten of my personalities". It became a running joke, especially with my friend Sandy. That tenth personality is The Demon, or Number Ten. Sandy eventually combined "Sybil" and "Carrie" and we gave her the royal-sounding name Sybrie The Tenth. (I do not actually have multiples - and no mockery of those who do is intended.)
Some methods of coping can be quite annoying. If you know someone like this, be patient with them. They aren't hurting you, or anyone else, so let it go. This is how they keep their Sybrie in the cage. If they are hurting someone (including themselves) then they need to find a new method ASAP.
Anyway, thanks for reading. Nine out of ten of my personalities are enjoying being 50.
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