Well, this election has brought us to a new low in American behavior. I didn't vote for the man, I've never liked the man, but guess what? He is the choice, apparently, of The People. Some civilized folks are talking of petitions and abolishing the Electoral College, which I can get behind. Work within the system to change it - that was the intent of our Founding Fathers.
However, these civilized folks seem to be a minority. My social media is full of decidedly uncivilized stories. "Not my President" says the same people who scorned folks for saying it four years go. Those who did support the President-Elect are dancing around like four-year-olds singing "nanner nanner boo boo".
I"m not going to repeat my speech about checks and balances. I'm not going to bother to tell you he can't kick down the Oval Office door like Bill Cosby's dad and repeal standing laws on a whim. I'm just exhausted from saying it. What I am going to do is define a couple words for the media.
A protest is peaceful. A riot is not. The moment a "protester" hurts another person physically or damages property, they become a "rioter". The two words are not synonyms, and they certainly do not change definition because the reporter agrees or disagrees with their position. If I go stand in public with a big sign, I am not a rioter just because you don't like what my sign says. If I beat up people and break windows, I am not a protester just because you think I have a point.
Protesters do not physically attack folks that disagree with them. Protesters do not bust things up and set things on fire. Protesters might yell insults, they might jump to conclusions about you based on your appearance (Who doesn't?), but when they cross that line and do physical harm, they stop being protesters. They become rioters.
About rioting... what do these people hope to accomplish? Has anyone even had their mind changed by getting beat up or having their house burned down? Oh, they might seem to, but they don't. They get mad. KKK visits in the 1860s led to race riots in the 1960s. And the Civil Rights Movement - which, since it was civilized, did bring change.
OK, I'm putting away my soap box now.
Friday, November 11, 2016
Saturday, November 5, 2016
A Place Of My Own
The boy is twelve now, hardly in need of 24 hour supervision and able to do most of the chores that had been mine. I started feeling rather useless, even though the family jumped up and down and insisted I was not! There were also some minor personality issues. (I like sunshine and fresh air, they are vampires. I like to get 'er done, they procrastinate.)
Some folks seem to believe that I was kept in a deep dark dungeon and only let out to be a slave. Looking at my history, there is a basis for this. I have been known to stay in emotionally abusive relationships for far longer than needed, and even to defend the meanie. But it is an insult to Josh and Chelle. They treat me with more respect than most of the planet does.
I worried a lot about using my freeloading abilities to take more than I really needed, but several friends and family encouraged me to do it. So I did. I now have my own open window, sunshiny apartment with the help of those government programs for folks like me. It's a nice little place and the only problem I've had is the smell of cigarette smoke. Air fresheners are my friends.
I did have to leave Cleo behind, but she's happy at Josh and Chelle's. Moving at the advanced age of seventeen might have been too much for her, anyway, and I do get to see her since I visit often. I find myself talking to the Barbies. I guess that's all right as long as they don't reply.
Getting all my financial ducks in a row has been a little rough. I'd saved the money for rent and deposits, big stuff like that, but the incidentals? I had to buy a broom! And a kitchen trash can! Every time I turn around it, it seems like there's another small thing I need to buy. Most of the big stuff is hand-me-downs - my family and friends are still offering me stuff.
The conditions of my lease (IE limits on how long guests can stay) will protect me from being taken advantage of. There's a reason Josh calls me The Big Sucker Lady... So here I am, enjoying the sunshine and listening to Cat Stevens. Maybe later I'll even open a window.
Friday, October 21, 2016
Flags, Anthems, and Other Sacred Symbols
I've blogged before about flags. To sum up, it is a symbol and symbols can mean very different things to those viewing them. This time the symbol in the news is a song - The National Anthem - but the basic argument remains the same.
NFL players are choosing not to stand for the National Anthem. As I understand it, they are protesting racism. Some are simply showing solidarity with their team mates, for the freedom to choose not to stand. I think they are wrong but I also know they have this thing called Freedom of Expression. And I'm appalled by the hypocrites being appalled.
How many of these people yelling about this are, even as it happens, plopped in a recliner? How many didn't bat an eye when Tom Brady hocked a giant loogie during a Moment of Silence for murdered children? How many sit on the curb when the flag passes during a parade, usually carried by combat veterans?
Then there's the question of forced compliance. That in itself is a violation of the US Constitution, which is based upon freedom. We have the right to disrespect the Sacred Symbols of others - note the cartoonists being defended when they draw Mohammed. These freedoms apply to everyone.
To me, these symbols are not about what we are - they are about what we should be, what we want to be, the ideals which we repeatedly fall short of. But we keep trying and that is what I stand up for. If I stand - and honestly, sometimes I don't. There are a variety of reasons, but I have that right. I'll thank you to respect it. As I respect yours.
NFL players are choosing not to stand for the National Anthem. As I understand it, they are protesting racism. Some are simply showing solidarity with their team mates, for the freedom to choose not to stand. I think they are wrong but I also know they have this thing called Freedom of Expression. And I'm appalled by the hypocrites being appalled.
How many of these people yelling about this are, even as it happens, plopped in a recliner? How many didn't bat an eye when Tom Brady hocked a giant loogie during a Moment of Silence for murdered children? How many sit on the curb when the flag passes during a parade, usually carried by combat veterans?
Then there's the question of forced compliance. That in itself is a violation of the US Constitution, which is based upon freedom. We have the right to disrespect the Sacred Symbols of others - note the cartoonists being defended when they draw Mohammed. These freedoms apply to everyone.
To me, these symbols are not about what we are - they are about what we should be, what we want to be, the ideals which we repeatedly fall short of. But we keep trying and that is what I stand up for. If I stand - and honestly, sometimes I don't. There are a variety of reasons, but I have that right. I'll thank you to respect it. As I respect yours.
Thursday, October 6, 2016
Little Plastic People - Part 3
Been looking at Barbie blogs. There's a lot of them where folks have like whole communities of dolls and stage soap operas. I really like the one called "How To Play With Barbies". It's by a lady who has taken my philosophy of using the dolls as teaching tools way beyond what I do. For example, in my Barbie World, if a kid wants to make Kira be married to Candy, I'm okay with it. Well, this lady has a doll of a lesbian celebrity - and a doll of the real-life wife. She made the wife doll. MADE it! She used a doll of Mimi from The Drew Carey show to teach her daughter not to hate on fat people. She seeks out dolls she can use for lessons.
I try not to have hard-and-fast rules about doll play. I think it stifles creativity. Right now, I'm making an album on my Facebook that's 2016 Barbie Scenarios and I have established for that a dollhouse family and some roles for others. But that probably won't be permanent, considering I'm eyeing the teen son for my next purge. Also because, like I said, I try to avoid hard and fast rules.
My Barbie population now stands at 17 females, 10 males, and four animals. I divide them into age groups by not just body molds, but faces as well. A few of them are ambiguous - Mary could be a tall early teen or a late teen. Sulu, Four, and Finnick are late teens or adults. Skipper falls somewhere between the young teens and child. Most of the adult females can also serve as late teens, but some of the faces firmly place them in one group or the other.
My minions have many stories of doll play at Jeanie's. I've pontificated in the past about gender roles, so I'll spare you most of that. Suffice to say that, to the best of my knowledge, none of my male minions has been gay. There is a very real difference in how the boys play... usually someone ends in with a head in the oven or toilet...
I try not to have hard-and-fast rules about doll play. I think it stifles creativity. Right now, I'm making an album on my Facebook that's 2016 Barbie Scenarios and I have established for that a dollhouse family and some roles for others. But that probably won't be permanent, considering I'm eyeing the teen son for my next purge. Also because, like I said, I try to avoid hard and fast rules.
My Barbie population now stands at 17 females, 10 males, and four animals. I divide them into age groups by not just body molds, but faces as well. A few of them are ambiguous - Mary could be a tall early teen or a late teen. Sulu, Four, and Finnick are late teens or adults. Skipper falls somewhere between the young teens and child. Most of the adult females can also serve as late teens, but some of the faces firmly place them in one group or the other.
My minions have many stories of doll play at Jeanie's. I've pontificated in the past about gender roles, so I'll spare you most of that. Suffice to say that, to the best of my knowledge, none of my male minions has been gay. There is a very real difference in how the boys play... usually someone ends in with a head in the oven or toilet...
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Meg Mysteries by Holly Beth Walker
The Meg books are a series of young female detective stories, along the lines of Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden. I couldn't identify with the rich, almost grown Nancy. Trixie and the Dana Sisters were better, but I absolutely LOVED Meg Duncan. I'm now fifty years old and still own and read these books - my other teen detectives are long gone.
The main character in these is younger than in the others, probably not technically a teen. I think the books were written for the slightly younger set, as they're thinner and less complex. I could read the entire series of six in a sitting, if I were so inclined.
Meg is an only child, who lives with her widowed father and a pair of elderly (or middle-aged, depending on the book) not-quite-servants. The wife is the housekeeper and the husband caretaker of the property. Meg's dad seems to be a workaholic. She also has a Siamese cat, which might explain my own preference for the breed. She has a backstory that includes an early childhood in Japan and a wealthy bachelor uncle.
Her sidekick is Kerry - who lives next door with her six siblings, many pets, and parents. Much is made of her tomboy ways as compared to Meg's preference for painting and ballet. Horses are a big part of Kerry's life, a wise choice on the author's part, given the audience. It also solves the problem of having non-driver lead characters.
Anyway. I'm not sure why I love these books so much. I sometimes think I'd like to pick up where Holly Beth Walker left off. Lots of people have never even heard of them, but they keep calling me back like Nancy Drew or Trixie Belden never did.
The main character in these is younger than in the others, probably not technically a teen. I think the books were written for the slightly younger set, as they're thinner and less complex. I could read the entire series of six in a sitting, if I were so inclined.
Meg is an only child, who lives with her widowed father and a pair of elderly (or middle-aged, depending on the book) not-quite-servants. The wife is the housekeeper and the husband caretaker of the property. Meg's dad seems to be a workaholic. She also has a Siamese cat, which might explain my own preference for the breed. She has a backstory that includes an early childhood in Japan and a wealthy bachelor uncle.
Her sidekick is Kerry - who lives next door with her six siblings, many pets, and parents. Much is made of her tomboy ways as compared to Meg's preference for painting and ballet. Horses are a big part of Kerry's life, a wise choice on the author's part, given the audience. It also solves the problem of having non-driver lead characters.
Anyway. I'm not sure why I love these books so much. I sometimes think I'd like to pick up where Holly Beth Walker left off. Lots of people have never even heard of them, but they keep calling me back like Nancy Drew or Trixie Belden never did.
Saturday, August 27, 2016
Bullying, Again
I pontificated before about the bullying problem and what I think should be done about it. This one is for the kids. Not the victims, not the bullies. The other kids. The ones who aren't sure what to do or how to do it. The ones who will say "I didn't do anything to him."
I'm speaking from my own experience as a bullied junior high schooler. Strange as it may seem, one of the kindest things a classmate ever did for me was a note. It said "Please don't tell anyone because I don't want to be picked on, too. I like you. I think you are nice." With her signature. I've never forgotten that. That girl reached out to me the only way she felt she could.
A couple of other girls reached out, too, They gave me a makeover during Study Hall. Maybe it was just that I was the only one who would let them, I really don't know. When they finished and held up the mirror, I expected to look ridiculous. I thought the whole thing was a set up, a means to humiliate me, but it wasn't. They even offered to give me some of their make-up that they didn't want anymore. (I suspect knowledge of my family's poverty had more to do with it, but they wanted to protect my pride.) One girl offered me clothes she didn't wear any more. I declined the offers - I just knew it was a trap. When I wore the offered cosmetics and clothing, they would make sure they entire school knew I was a rag picker.
Why did I feel that way? When the teacher left the music classroom and the bullies pushed me into a corner, going through my purse and making fun of the contents, or just making fun of the purse itself... No one spoke up. A couple dozen kids let them do it. To me, that said I deserved it. That said we hate you just as much as those guys do. That said I was loathed by the entire student body.
My period as the victim was only a year or two, but at the time it was forever. All those kids who I know now did not hate me... I just want to apologize to every one of them. I want to tell them I understand why they didn't act. But at the time, their loathing of me was a fact.
So, boys and girls, the next time you see a classmate being pushed around, realize how your silence is perceived. Realize that, in their eyes, you are either cheering the bullies on or - maybe worse - you don't care either way. Even if you don't have the courage to confront the bully on their behalf (the best course), the least you can do is a kind word when no one is looking.
Why didn't I stand up for myself? No one else stood up for me, at a time in my life when the opinions of your peers is crucial, so maybe I thought I deserved it. (Well, I did eventually stand up for myself. I like to think the small kindnesses mentioned above helped me to do so.) Why didn't I just stop being *insert adjective*? It's easy to blame the victim, maybe even part of human nature, so don't beat yourself up too much if you've done it. A lot of the things kids get bullied over are beyond their control. I couldn't make my mother get off Welfare, I wasn't allowed to do "normal" things, and I sure couldn't stop doing things I didn't know were "wrong".
So, you other kids, I give you life from the perspective of at least one bullying victim. It's not enough to not bully. It's not enough to feel sorry for them. You have to act, even if all you do is plead with them not to blab the fact that they don't hate you.
I'm speaking from my own experience as a bullied junior high schooler. Strange as it may seem, one of the kindest things a classmate ever did for me was a note. It said "Please don't tell anyone because I don't want to be picked on, too. I like you. I think you are nice." With her signature. I've never forgotten that. That girl reached out to me the only way she felt she could.
A couple of other girls reached out, too, They gave me a makeover during Study Hall. Maybe it was just that I was the only one who would let them, I really don't know. When they finished and held up the mirror, I expected to look ridiculous. I thought the whole thing was a set up, a means to humiliate me, but it wasn't. They even offered to give me some of their make-up that they didn't want anymore. (I suspect knowledge of my family's poverty had more to do with it, but they wanted to protect my pride.) One girl offered me clothes she didn't wear any more. I declined the offers - I just knew it was a trap. When I wore the offered cosmetics and clothing, they would make sure they entire school knew I was a rag picker.
Why did I feel that way? When the teacher left the music classroom and the bullies pushed me into a corner, going through my purse and making fun of the contents, or just making fun of the purse itself... No one spoke up. A couple dozen kids let them do it. To me, that said I deserved it. That said we hate you just as much as those guys do. That said I was loathed by the entire student body.
My period as the victim was only a year or two, but at the time it was forever. All those kids who I know now did not hate me... I just want to apologize to every one of them. I want to tell them I understand why they didn't act. But at the time, their loathing of me was a fact.
So, boys and girls, the next time you see a classmate being pushed around, realize how your silence is perceived. Realize that, in their eyes, you are either cheering the bullies on or - maybe worse - you don't care either way. Even if you don't have the courage to confront the bully on their behalf (the best course), the least you can do is a kind word when no one is looking.
Why didn't I stand up for myself? No one else stood up for me, at a time in my life when the opinions of your peers is crucial, so maybe I thought I deserved it. (Well, I did eventually stand up for myself. I like to think the small kindnesses mentioned above helped me to do so.) Why didn't I just stop being *insert adjective*? It's easy to blame the victim, maybe even part of human nature, so don't beat yourself up too much if you've done it. A lot of the things kids get bullied over are beyond their control. I couldn't make my mother get off Welfare, I wasn't allowed to do "normal" things, and I sure couldn't stop doing things I didn't know were "wrong".
So, you other kids, I give you life from the perspective of at least one bullying victim. It's not enough to not bully. It's not enough to feel sorry for them. You have to act, even if all you do is plead with them not to blab the fact that they don't hate you.
Monday, August 8, 2016
Shipping
For those among my hordes of readers who are unfamiliar with the terminology: Fandom = the group of people who are fans of something (IE Trekkies/Trekkers are the Star Trek fandom) Shipping = wanting/hoping/wishing a couple are or will be a couple. (IE Some folks ship Spock and Kirk)
Now to my rant. I shipped Hermione and Viktor. I really didn't want her to end up with Ron or Harry. I liked the platonic three-way they had going on. Rowling, however, had other plans (obviously). She arranged for them to end up family. I'm bummed, but I get it, both as a fan (the canon relationships suit them) and as a writer (sometimes them characters just do what they want). I can imagine an alternate Harry Potter universe wherein my vision came to pass, but I should also accept that in the "real" world, Hermione married Ron.
I saw a comment tonight on Facebook that - well, I'll paraphrase and use my own example. "I loathe Ron with Hermione. They make no sense as a couple. Hermione belongs with Viktor." Except this person didn't even name a canon character - "Hermione belongs with" a character... from the comment writer's fan fiction...
This goes way beyond playing "what if" and completely leaves the fandom in my opinion. I did not ship Mulder and Scully. I did not ship Xena and Gabrielle. I did not ship Kaylee and Simon. But guess what? The creators of the universes in which those characters live put a lot of thought and work into making those relationships real to fans.
I imagine, if my own stories were ever part of pop culture, how I would feel in this situation. Did I fail to make it real to my readers? Of course, I'd have to laugh at the idea of my using someone else's fan fiction character - not even sure how that's supposed to happen. How can you even call yourself a fan of mine if you hate what I've done?
Now to my rant. I shipped Hermione and Viktor. I really didn't want her to end up with Ron or Harry. I liked the platonic three-way they had going on. Rowling, however, had other plans (obviously). She arranged for them to end up family. I'm bummed, but I get it, both as a fan (the canon relationships suit them) and as a writer (sometimes them characters just do what they want). I can imagine an alternate Harry Potter universe wherein my vision came to pass, but I should also accept that in the "real" world, Hermione married Ron.
I saw a comment tonight on Facebook that - well, I'll paraphrase and use my own example. "I loathe Ron with Hermione. They make no sense as a couple. Hermione belongs with Viktor." Except this person didn't even name a canon character - "Hermione belongs with" a character... from the comment writer's fan fiction...
This goes way beyond playing "what if" and completely leaves the fandom in my opinion. I did not ship Mulder and Scully. I did not ship Xena and Gabrielle. I did not ship Kaylee and Simon. But guess what? The creators of the universes in which those characters live put a lot of thought and work into making those relationships real to fans.
I imagine, if my own stories were ever part of pop culture, how I would feel in this situation. Did I fail to make it real to my readers? Of course, I'd have to laugh at the idea of my using someone else's fan fiction character - not even sure how that's supposed to happen. How can you even call yourself a fan of mine if you hate what I've done?
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